Three adventurers aboard the Majestic Eel, fight off a horde of Nutlings before heading to Sandveil island. A mysterious unmarked island full of treasure. The adventurers solve a puzzle involving torches, zombies, and an ancient Tiki head which Jermy Longhollow smokes out of, opening a dungeon. Inside the dungeon, the adventurers defeat a Merrenloth and secure a silver snake statue.
On Hidden Island, three adventurers, Tea'Kay, Jermy, and Astrid wake up on the sandy shores surrounded by corpses with levitating objects. The corpses animate and attack! The trio then find a pipe containing the soul of a revolutionary Lord Windpipe, who instructs them to climb to the top of the mountain at the center of the island. On the way, they fight a disembodied hand and some fire mephits.
Lord Windpipe, who lives in a magic, constantly smoking pipe, wishes to ignite a revolution using his army in the Northern Remesian Seas to overthrow the current Royal Republic.
At the top of the mountain, a Dragon, Dargon tries to stop the players from lighting the Beacon. The adventurers subdue Dargon, and are able to light the beacon, to which Captain Tuna and his crew arrive at the Island, offering their services to Lord Windpipe and the party.
The crew also has an Aasimar Paladin and a Dragonborn Wizard; Otium and Sora, respectfully. They decide to join the other three in their quest to help Lord Windpipe.
The party's first stop on their seafaring adventure is a small peaceful island called Hope Island. On the way, they are ambushed by an angry Stone Titan, who nearly destroys the ship! They calm him down by pushing a button at the back of his neck. He then goes back into his slumber.
Captain Tuna pilots the party into the shallows of Hope Island. where the tribespeople gladly repair the Majestic Eel for free! However, their leader, Darukian, asks if the party would be willing to remove some bandits that have taken hold on the northern side of the Island and kidnapped their scout, Scott, who is the only islander that knows where the nearest port is. These islanders worship Jermy, as they believe that their island is a gargantuan tortoise that is in a deep slumber.
The party agrees to help, and sets off into the jungle. In a clearing, they find Scott bound and gagged on the floor of a lean-to shack. They carefully inspect and realize the trap. Tea'Kay positions the portable hole full of water just next to Scott, just as a flaming axe comes flying into the side of the shack, igniting it. Tea'Kay narrowly evades the explosion with Scott, jumping into the portable hole. The thrower was Janet, accompanied by Jansen, two rogue pirates that escaped imprisonment and are now tormenting the islanders.
A close fight ensues where nearly the entire party is unconscious at one point. Luckily, the party prevails and returns to the island with Scott, now aware of the nearest port, Shantytown on Shanty Island.
After sleeping in King Darukian's hut, the party is rudely awakened by skeletons shooting steel balls and golden rectangles. They aggressively pursue Astrid. King Darukian turns into a mist of sand and defends the villagers whilst the party fights. The party is victorious, but King Darukian is shot fatally. Hellshark is crowned the new king of the island. The party bids their farewell and heads to Shanty Island.
On Shanty Island, the party sees The Pink Dragon docked there, and on the docks a public execution is taking place. Admiral Lad Kingsley is about to hang three pirates and tries to single out the party to pull the final lever. Using deception and judicious use of stunning strike, Astrid and Tea'Kay stop the hanging. In a fury, Lad Kingsley punches a hole through Otium's chest, before regaining his senses and being calmed by Malvero the Red Wizard. The admiral and wizard leave, with Malvero giving the party a warning that he'll be keeping a close eye on them, with a wink.
The party then heads to Map Emporium where they are tasked with getting the only map for sale in town back from a local crime lord, Big Peet. Who operates out of an exclusive nightclub on the island, with a perpetual days long line. To skip the agony, the party heads to D'Arby, a local fence and rival crime lieutenant. D'Arby gives the party tickets to get into the nightclub in exchange for them agreeing to ship a crate of Enimat to his employer, Tormilav Radmir. D'Arby's shop is full of illusory items, of which Otium is the only one that can see through them.
The party gets into the nightclub, where Captain Tuna already had entered and is getting drunk and high with the other patrons. The place is crawling with Cannoli Gangsters, Big Peet's enforcers. After they refuse to let him speak to Big Peet, Otium takes a swing at one of the guards, starting a bloody fight in the crowded nightclub. Astrid picks off many of the gangsters from inside crowds, as Tea'Kay kills multiple in one swift turn. Meanwhile, Jermy fights two gangsters outside the club, killing one, and taking another as hostage.
After the fight, the party enters Big Peet's chamber, he is an ogre adorned with jewlery. Automaton warriors and beautiful women flank him- he offers the party a bowl of worms, and thanks them for removing the weaklings in his ranks. He offers the party a villa on the island and a position in the Cannoli Gang in exchange for killing a rival gang leader, Tormilav Radmir. The party agrees and now has a conflict; kill Tormilav and betray D'Arby, or deliver drugs to him and betray Big Peet.
Still recovering from the night before only Tea'Kay and Jermy wake up. Jermy wakes up in the villa, where he slept alongside his captive gangster. Tea'Kay wakes up inside of a burlap sack on the road. They each have to fight two ghostly skeletons. Tea'Kay destroys them swiftly with kicks, as Jermy struggles to fire his gun and run around the villa. Tea'Kay then sprints at breakneck speeds to get back to villa and assist Jermy, despite being over a mile away.
They then venture off to a frozen farm harvesting feywild trees to harness a new drug, Fairy Bark. Tea'Kay and Jermy fight off the frozen Azer and Farkus, a druid running the farm who had disguised himself as a horse. Tea'Kay is struck by depression as he realizes that the only way to free the feywild trees will destroy them. Despite his anger, they allow Farkus to live, and rescue their friends, taking the harvested fairy bark for themselves.
Tea'Kay claims the two Sendo Wave Rings for himself.
Leaving from Shanty Island, the party votes to raid a nearby merchant ship, where they fight Euron Greyjoy, a half-dragon gnome and his two Tiefling mercenaries. They ignite the ship and kill all of the merchants, but manage to steal 10 barrels of calcium powder.
On the way to Edge City, the location of Tormilav Radmir, the party makes a pit stop at the Island of Hope.
The island is littered with bodies of the tribespeople, and there is another Royal ship in the shallows. The Orc pirates that the party had freed on Shanty Island had taken over another ship and rounded up their allies- then raided the island of hope. They call themselves the Snagmaws.
The party acts as the allies of the Snagmaws as first, but concocts a plan to save the remainder of the islanders by stealing the Orc's ship, The Limp Noodle and putting the islanders on it. They manage to kill 2/3 of the leaders and a number of the other orcs on the island, leaving only Beast and about 10 orcs populating the island. During the ensuing battle, Hellshark marks Jermy as the new king of the Hope Islanders for his valor.
They sail to Edge Island with a ship stuffed full of the Hope Islanders.
Salty Sam, a merfolk riding a dolphin stops the Majestic Eel. He entices Tea'Kay, Jermy, and Astrid to swim down into a temple of Poseidon and clear it of the cultists that inhabit. In exchange, he promises to reveal to the party the path to Atlantis. The party agrees, and heads down into the temple (despite Jermy being unable to swim, and being unathletic).
In the desecrated temple, they fight a weakened Dargon, as well as a number of tTefling cultists of Zariel, an angel turned archdevil. They posses the power to turn any hitting attack into a critical hit, once per day. The party solves a puzzle and discovers a treasure trove that includes an Immovable Rod that Jermy takes as his compensation. They proceed to free the captive priest Orbulon and kill all cultists except for Ezekiel, the leader who claimed that his death would bring him to Zariel. Instead, he was sent to face justice in Atlantis.
As promised, Salty Sam revealed the path to Atlantis to the trio, and wished to see them there.
Finally arriving in Edge City, the party is first greeted with a foreboding exploding scroll sent on a disappearing seagull from their employer, D'Arby that instructs them to find a mysterious character MOODY BLUES in order to find Tormilav's whereabouts.
The party notes that The Pink Dragon is docked there. After being assured the safety of their Hope Islanders, the party agrees to have the Royal Republic search their ships- handing over two captive soldiers. Meanwhile, Tea'Kay rushes alongside the Hope Islanders to store their contraband drugs in the portable hole. The party is given the strange order to not be caught outside after midnight, else they will be killed by supernatural fog. The people of Edge City don't seem to mind though, they've learned to adapt. Edge City is a marvelous city of white limestone and beautiful marble structures. The streets are lined with wealthy citizens with access to high-end steam technology and vehicles.
They then set out and explore the city, starting at the local tavern. At the tavern, Jermy meets an elf, Ingor that he had met a century ago in the same bar- they reminisce about better times. Ingor points the party towards the gift shop at the marketplace, which is closed until tomorrow morning.
Tea'Kay and Jermy visit the park, where they find a statue of Lad Kingsley, some snobbish citizens, and a homeless man obsessed with rats.
Sora and Otium buy tickets to the opera, The Trial of Asmodeus, which Otium sleeps through. During the play, Sora notes that she saw a flash of red eyes in the balcony just as the main actor is nearly killed.
Astrid watches the patrons entering the theater, eventually noticing one extremely affluent half-elf enter and be escorted to the balcony seats. She then tries to climb atop the building from an adjacent one, falling and cracking her head open. She is arrested and fined for trespassing and disturbing the peace.
Tea'Kay purchases rooms for everyone at the tavern, at half price due to Jermy's connection. After midnight, he climbs on top of the tavern and uses his parkour ability to avoid the supernatural fog filling the city streets. He notes that the fog is originating from the Desecrated Home. He also notes that when nearby, he sees visions. He informs Sora. Sora and Astrid set up a trap for the skeletons they anticipate will attack them in the morning.
In the morning, skeletons attack. One is instantly killed by the trap, the others are swiftly defeated by the rest of the party. Otium throws an axe out of the window, destroying a watermelon parked on a barrel outside. The owner of the watermelon, a small boy, is disciplined by his mother for breaking the watermelon.
The party travels to the marketplace, they meet Lords Under the Earth, a fence who leads them through the sewers to a cove away from the prying eyes of the Royals. There, he informs the party that MOODY BLUES is a patron of the arts and loves theatre. Otium buys all of the watermelons at the market and gifts them to the small boy, giving the mother a stern warning.
Deciding to save their main mission for another day, the party ventures towards the desecrated home. Once Lord Windpipe passes through the entrance of the seemingly dilapidated home, a bright white light envelops all those who further his quest- which includes Captain Tuna. The bright light brings the party and Tuna to an endless plane of white full of tentacles- they are greeted with a haunted house. Otium sets off two traps, getting attacked by a lightning bolt glyph and cursed armor that bleeds him. Jermy activates the enchanted teaset, which displays a scene showing the owner of the house blowing the pipe for the first time, killing him and his companions. Then, the house is town away by giant tentacles as four portals are open, birthing STAR SPAWN every turn as well as a Balhannoth. The Balhannoth uses its lair and teleportation to dominate the battle, downing nearly the entire party at one point.
Captain Tuna sacrifices himself in order to buy more time for the party, tying up the Balhannoth for a turn but losing his life- he gives the sole instruction to save the dying Jermy, as he is the only one who can lead the Hope Islanders. The party uses the new time to destroy the portals birthing STAR SPAWN, and inflict damage on the Balhannoth. Despite using his inspiration and his valor, the party is not able to reach Jermy before he succumbs to his wounds. Otium finishes off the Balhannoth, ending the psychological strain on their minds.
Jermy hands out all of his equipment except for the Immovable Rod. His body turns to butterflies as his spirit meets Captain Tuna's in the afterlife. Captain Tuna remarks "they really can't do anything right can they?" as the once-again youthful Jermy guides him onward.
Astrid, Tea'Kay, Sora, and Otium wake in a field wearing flower crowns lying in a circle. In the center of which sits an Alchemy Jug. The clock strikes 12:30am, and no fog rolls into Edge City.
Waking up in a mysterious boat on the River Styx, the party finds themselves in a plane of black ash that makes them sneeze. There are nine moons overhead. Sora is subjected to a sneezing fit upon jumping off and is forced by the Merrenloth to pay for the party's journey into THE LAND OF THE DEAD. The party is let off on a river bank with a large glowing tavern on it, THE TAVERN OF THE DEAD. On the inside, they meet all sorts of fun characters such as Finnbar, Chevron, Elle Jobel, Angel Eyes, and their old pal Jermy Longhollow they reminisce before speaking to the only other living being in the tavern, a bard named Voltaire.
Voltaire explains that the party only has twelve hours to breathe the air in The Land of the Dead (barring an exception from Otium who has a necklace of adaptation). In exchange for freeing them, he requests that the party travel through the extra-dead graveyard and the enchanted pumpkin patch in order to kill Madamme Tuna. The party agrees, and Voltaire lets the party use his servants, two pixies and a dwarf named Slappy as help. Slappy is much weaker than the rest of the party so Voltaire gives him three magic items to help out on the journey.
The gang decides to traverse over the Troll Bridge where they find Marg the Troll and his collection of shoes mundane and magical. Rather than pay his toll of at least one shoe per person, Tea'Kae does a jumping somersault over the bridge whilst Otium distracts him. Slappy uses his flametongue hammer to burn the flesh off his back, causing Marg to submit, allowing the party to pass and take the Boots of Speed.
They travel through the valley of screams and up the mountains of madness, where they fight two disembodied hands that send Otium, Sora, and The Pumpkin Pixie over the edge of a cliff. Sora uses her feather fall and rope trick to stop their deaths. Otium cleans a statue at the top of a knight and recites and old poem that causes the statue to explode into a beacon of light that produces a fruitkin knight, Pump-Kin, the Pumpkin Fruitkin, Kin of all that is Pump. Pump-Kin agrees to travel with the party to help free the land from Madamme Tuna.
The party then had to face the extra-dead graveyard. As soon as they entered the wrought iron gates an infinite wall of fire spawned behind their backs. There were two gates each leading out of the area. Tea'Kae went first, sprinting ahead to try and force one of the gates open. Touching the gates enchanted him with the energy of the graveyard, causing him to turn on his allies. As he wept and prepared himself to face his comrades, Slappy used his telekenisis to move the mound of flesh that Tea'Kae stood on to allow his allies to pass. Pump-Kin managed to hit Tea'Kae with an arrow attack, but on his next turn fired and arrow that Tea'Kae deflects back at him. This killed Pump-Kin and made him fall 60ft to the ground where he suffered massive damage and permanently died. Slappy the the rest of the gang manage to force one of the gates open, ending the effect on Tea'Kae.
Passing through the enchanted pumpkin patch the party is introduced to Jack, who lets them pass for only taking one sweetroll.
In the ship graveyard, the party darts through the abandoned ships and is finally face to face with Madamme Tuna. She insults the party as her and the pumpkin monster begin their assault. Despite their harsh words, they are easily dispatched by the party. Immediately after, Voltaire rises up as the pumpkin king accompanied by an army of baby pumpkin reapers. He demands servitude from the party. The party says no and starts to murder his pumpkin babies. Slappy manages to get ahold of a cannon and fires it critically at Voltaire's head, decapitating him and destroying the outer wall of this plane of reality. They all spill out and see Jeremy, the shopkeeper. Turns out that this whole world was his pepper shaker. In exchange for killing Voltaire, who had been a pest to Jeremy he levels up the entire party. He allows Slappy to keep his magical items instead of leveling up.
Waking up in a hospital, the party is granted a gift from Lad Kingsley, reinforced armor for their ship. Tea'Kae announces that he is too depressed to continue with the party. Lad offers him an opportunity to explore the ForeverIce, a plane of infinite Ice with portals to other dimensions. The party is then set loose to explore. While walking through town they are besieged by a gang of broken Warforged. Egan makes his first appearance and aids the party, in exchange for them helping him restore his business. The party kills all the warforged but allows one to join their ranks, UNIT CR-AIG, who gets rebranded as TR4A10R. They then go to the whale tail theatre and beat up the old janitor before meeting Moody Blues, who has them execute some helpless captives in exchange for the location of Tormilav.
The gang traverses inland on Edge Island. Sailing on The Limp Noodle, they encounter Andrew Buttersworth, one of the many heirs to the Buttersworth fortune. Slappy leads the raid on his ship. His two warforged companions are killed and Andrew is taken hostage (albeit missing an eye). They dock their ship close to the Ruins of Oth, an old Yuan-Ti city overtaken by a treacherous swamp. The party explodes a unit of stirges before awakening the Alaco Rex, a gigantic chicken dinosaur and her babies. Nearly the entire party is killed, but they are able to destroy her after Slappy succumbs to the power of a ring that lets him control one of the iron golems entrenched in the swamp. They float over to the entrance to the city...
A wayward pirate (Allistar) is known to be docked at Island 1 of the outer trio. He is known to be in the possession of a magical artifact. Crimson, a traitor from The Cannloli gang has a buyer for it. Jack and Thiala are up to the job.
Jack and Thiala start in combat late at night on the deck of The Manatee, a sloop piloted by a warforged named Crimson. Big peet's gang is not happy about the treachery, as Crimson has stolen his ship and two of his best gangers.
They dock at Island One. There is a lighthouse and a small inn filled with fishermen from the village further inland. There are many ships but none matching the description of the mark.
A ship crashed onto the island last week. The town mystic sensed a magical aura and commanded all to avoid it until an investigation could be done. The "all seeing eyes" are found here. A pair of goggles that allow of the seeing of invisible things.
The Majestic Eel can be seen (well, invisibly)! It has been docked right next to the lighthouse this whole time.
On the Majestic Eel is Allistar as well as a hired bodyguard, a hextech artificer Unit H3X13K. The artificer is always on watch. They all fight. Jack and Thiala leave Allistar alive, but steal some of his Fairy Bark.
The party wakes up on a strange flying ship crashing through the clouds. Skeletons riding motorized clouds assault the party. Upon their defeat, the party encounters Salty Sam, their Dolphin-riding Merfolk friend from Atlantis. He tells them they're in the Astral Sea on the path to Atlantis. He gives Egan the title of captain, who tries to give it to Slappy amicably. Before they can continue, they must destroy the Bellday Bell from Bellday Island. On the island, they encounter a horde of sleeping Mousefolk, a tavern-sized mimic, and a tribe of carnivorous Fruitkin guarding their lonely mountain.
The party sets their eyes on Hookbeard's stronghold. Hookbeard of course being the 4th most famous pirate in all the multiverse. After trading cannon fire and losing their ship, Slappy manages to steal Hookbeard's cove and ship, renaming it the "Jeweled Whale II" after his sunken ship from his backstory. Slappy now stands as the fourth most famous pirate in all the multiverse.
In the Astral Sea, Slappy and Astrid wake up aboard Hookbeard's ship. He's their bodyguard now and is eagerly watching Slappy's methods as captain. Egan has vanished, and the ship's wheel locked up. Astrid is just barely able to get the ship anchored in front of an island situated on top of a giant lily pad, with a desert contained inside the thin walls. The Astral Sea is beautiful, with a cloudy purple mist flowing on top of the milky sea beneath it. The sky is an eternal sunset of orange and yellow, with dancing streams of light everywhere.
On the shore of this lily pad island they find a shack and a pair of legs. The pair of legs is attached to a human buried upside down in the sand. Some awakened Cacti are bullying the legs so Slappy uses his gloves of giant strength to pull him out. The Cacti continue to try and kill the man, an painter named Jeanpaul, so Astrid and Slappy murder the cacti with fire.
Astrid knows Jeanpaul, they went to the Salmon Art University together. Jeanpaul was hired to paint a portrait of Malvero the Red Wizard. Malvero was displeased with the job he did, so he plane shifted him to the Astral Plane. He also had his magical paintbrush stolen by a group of local mousefolk called The Ratpack.
Slappy goes to speak with Jeremy and loses many of his magic items trying to get enchanted armor. He passes on a set of glimmering hide armor. He eventually ends up with just a measly ring of defense, despite giving away three of his own items.
They speak to the owner of the shack, a psychic named Mama Margaret. She foretells of a Snake-Demon who will come to eat the island unless offered a better snack. Slappy trades his gems for Astral Coins.
With hookbeard and Jeanpaul in tow, the party heads to the Mousefolk town. It's centered between two giant canyons 200ft high made out of thick plant matter. At the door, they aren't allowed in due to their nakedness. You see the mousefolk view fur as clothing, so they will only allow Slappy and Hookbeard in due to their beards. Astrid tries to pressure him into shaving it to give it to her, but is unsuccessful. Eventually, they all get in the town by utilizing the local Bunny-deer as clothing for Jeanpaul and Astrid in her sleeping bag.
They get inside the town and learn of a food shortage exacerbated by the Rat Pack hording all the food for themselves. Luckily, there is a monster in a cave up the ridge that conveniently was last investigated by the Sherrif, who has been missing for sometime. They go up the ridge.
Inside the cave they meet Pete, or the skeleton of him. He's just a talking skull with a cowboy hat and a badge. He says he died trying to kill the monster in the cave and was sent by the Rat Pack. The monster reveals itself. It's an octopus man with telepathy named Jones. They overpower him just in the nick of time, as the three moons of the Astral Sea converge and KEVIN THE SNAKE DEMON is summoned. They offer the carcass of Jones as an offering which he accepts. Kevin then grants Astrid and Slappy each their true desire. Slappy is given the original Astral Ship, the Jeweled Whale II, and Astrid is given the blessing of the Snake Demon which lets her turn invisible for a short while.
Waking up in the Astral sea, the party re-introduces themselves to The Jeweled Whale II and Ada. They're attacked by the Rat Pack sporting cactus armor, who are riding a sand sailor and catapulting themselves. A new comrade is also there, she's a green dragonborn nicknamed Gall. A friend of Astrid and Jeanpaul, she also went to Salmon University. Midway through that battle, JONES, the octofolk from the end of last session rises out of the water wielding a plethora of new magical weapons obtained from Jeremy. As the new owner of the key, he became a warlock of Jeremy and accepted many magical items in exchange for his soul and mind. He uses dimension door to get out of combat, leaving the party to fight his summoned air elemental. They defeat the elemental and return to the material plane. Before leaving however, Egan learns about his father's creation of the Majestic Eel II and his mysterious dissapearance...
Back in the material plane the party awakens in the Ruins of Oth and must traverse to the inside to find Tormilav. They meet Mort, a thousands-year old skeleton forgemaster begging for death. Otium obtains Frostbrand after completing a trap room, which takes the form of a greatsword for him. They head down into the ruins, where a kobold fight club has been built using scraps. It's run by an undead kobold samurai and his gang of lizards. Astrid initiates combat with him by shooting him directly. Slappy uses his gloves of telekinesis to flip him over and dismantle his summoned hand. The kobold is defeated.
The party delves deeper into the dungeon, finally meeting Tormilav, who is being kept alive in a vat of goo powered by a galaxy gemstone. The most powerful macguffin in all the multiverse. The case of enimat turned out to be a polymorphed Malvero the red wizard, or rather his clone and a couple of brains in mech suits. They're quickly dispatched by the party. Tormilav explains that hundreds of years ago he and Lysanderoth found themselves teleported into this strange realm. Weakened, they crawled their way to the temple they now reside in. From its base they grew a fortune, by plundering ships sailing nearby. They hired Lord Windpipe to craft an army of warforged that would serve as their army, but he never fufilled the promise. He tells the party that the army is there, should they still be willing to retrieve it. Lysanderoth combines two modrons into an arcane cannon, and gifts it to the party. When questioned how they're able to run such a successful venture from the depths of a dungeon in the middle of a swamp, Tormilav begins piloting the temple, as it flies up and out of the swamp.
Shakespeare joined the crew, Crimson on board as prisoner. Aboleth is an ally. On the way to Shakespeare's next concert.
On the way to Shakespeare's concert. Made friends with Violana ZARR. Stopped at a saloon on the top of a rock. Almost got TPK'd by an enchanted Slappy. Odium died. Slappy is depressed.
Five adventurers sit in a lavish private room of the Tavern of the Dead. They are: Gargarax the Barbarian, Ivelos the Sorcerer, Cindra Demonkin, Misryn, and a pirate captain named Marcello. Cindra is the daughter of the famed adventurer Salazar and has been sent to prove her worth in the eyes of her father. Ivelos really likes dragons. A lot. Gargarax just sort of showed up.
After showing off their super awesome magic items Jeremy arrives all flustered. He then begs the party to go to the most vile plane in all the nine hells, PITTSBURGH to go kill a beholder, Ralakor the All-Seeing. Before agreeing, they ask to hear more about him. Jeremy begins the tale:
"Long ago, Ralakor the All-Seeing ravaged the material plane in his quest to ascend to godhood. His rampage marked the end of the second era of Agalion. He mutilated thousands, destroyed historical artifacts, and corrupted the minds of all who bought into his false promises. Through cooperation, sheer willpower, and sacrifice a team of adventurers were able to banish the false idol to a moon of the infernal plane where he would suffer for his discretions.
Or so they thought. For two hundred years the villain stewed in his prison, driving him mad. In his madness he discovered a lost tower forgotten to the ages. The secrets within has allowed Ralakor a chance to once again breech the material plane. His many eyes are set upon the door of Jeremy's shop. Thought to be impenetrable- the mad beholder sees it as his opportunity to break free and infect the multiverse."
Gargarax falls asleep during the description, loudly snoring- both expressing his boredom and cementing his role as the comic relief. Before agreeing to the quest, Cindra is promised a belt of Storm Giant Strength as a reward. Marcello is also promised the title of Pirate Queen. The others are cool to do the quest just for the funsies of it. Jeremy gleefully opens a door to Pittsburgh and kicks the party out of the tavern of the dead.
Once on the barren hellscape, the party immediately finds a new tavern to their left. They enter and meet Lefty- a tiefling bartender with two left hands banished for the sin of being left-handed. Inside, Gargarax eats some nachos with meat carved from a gibbering mouther. He then vomits up a living eyeball. Ivelos goes to the job board, and convinces the party to go after a lost puppy, reported missing by the farmer ULAGOTH, TORMENTOR OF SOULS. Marcello also discovers wanted poster for Ralakor listed by Jeremy for the reward of One Million Gold. She takes the poster.
They follow tracks that lead them to 3 dead adventurers in front of a grotto- who Cindra re-animates as zombies. Inside the grotto Ivelos corners a hydra. Using his magic ring he is able to pet the hydra and ask it if knows where the puppy has gone. The hydra responds in hydrese that it is in fact, the puppy. They escort him back to ULAGOTH, TORMENTOR OF SOULS' farm, who tries to give Ivelos the promised 10gp. Being a noble hero, he declines. Gar Gar gladly accepts a bone axe as a reward. They continue on to go kill Ralakor.
The party reaches the gate of two hundred eyes and have a short conversation with The Mouth of Ralakor- an undead Kobold. There are floating meteors hovering above the battlefield, orbiting slowly. Ivelos firebolts the Kobold. The gate is opened, and one hundred Kobolds charge forth. About fifteen also crawl out of the craters on the floating meteors, obsidian arrows trained on the heroes. Gar Gar is first- he misses his first attack and then smashes a kobold to bits. Marcello hides and starts picking off some other kobolds. Ivelos' theme song starts playing as he speaks 今、あなたはすべて死ぬでしょう. Suddenly, the floating meteors are joined by one more as he casts Meteor Swam, eliminating about 75 Kobolds in a single attack. After this heroic display of power- a roar can be heard as a black dragon covered in metal plates flies into the scene. His talons ignite as red lightsabers and his raspy voice announces himself as Darth Dragon Vader. He claims to have met Ivelos, saying that at once Ivelos was the master but now Darth Dragon Vader (formerly known as Draganakin) is the master. Cindra turns into a Dragon herself to confront it. Gar Gar tries to climb the Wall of Two Hundred Eyes and succeeds, but is blown off of it by the dragon's beating wings. He then tries to throw his bone axe at the creature unsuccessfully.
Ivelos, Cindra (as a dragon) and Misryn take on the dragon as Marcello picks off the kobolds. Eventually, the Dragon is killed through their teamwork. Dragon Cindra flies the party to the top of the Lost Tower where they come face to face with Ralakor. He's a shriveled up eyeball wearing a black cloak. He beckons the party to betray their goal to join him and take over the galax- I mean multiverse. Ralakor shows off Godkiller a weapon capable of killing gods. Gar Gar pretends to join his side, taking the Godkiller in his hands then betraying the evil eyeball. Jeremy shows up to thank the party, opening his door a smidge. He is about to leave without handing a reward- but Cindra casts Time Stop. She runs inside his shop and grabs a few handfuls of treasure. In this action, displaying the virtue that no matter the level adventurers are always the same.
The level 17 party of demigods stands atop the Lost Tower gazing upon the realm they were now trapped in, planning a way out.
Royal Remesian Republic: The faction that governs the city of grand Remes. They claim to have absolute control over the southern seas, yet only have one ship to enforce their laws across all the islands. Their power is unmatched but spread thin.
Tormi's Gang: The gang of Tormilav; known sometimes as Horizon Walker. It's said he appeared, crippled, out of a strange portal. Using powerful magic and advanced technology he deals in the drug trade. His comrades are few, yet highly powerful and highly secretive.
Cannoli Gang: The largest crime syndicate of Remes- they grow their drug crop in the islands of the southern sea, away from the eyes of the Royals. Their gangsters are physically weak, but numerous and stylish.
Hope Tribe: The peaceful tribe of Hope Island.
Merfolk: The watchful eyes of Poseidon. It's said that they once ruled all the seas. They mostly live in Atlantis, but sometimes will assist lost travelers or request the aid of those more suited for combat.
Snagmaws: A company of Orc pirates. They loot and pillage and plunder like good pirates.
THE MAJESTIC EEL: A ship of steam and sail, the Majestic Eel was the lifework of the titular Captain Tuna. Using a revolutionary wheel at the front of the ship, it can reach speeds higher than that of a regular ship. As a repurposed merchant ship it can dock amongst commoners. It requires a crew of at least 5.
THE PINK DRAGON: A massive ship that contains enhanced Dwarven armor and an arcane cannon. It is commanded by the Admiral Lad Kingsley. The Pink Dragon requires at a minimum 100 crewmen, but typically employs up to 400 at any given time. The navigator wizard, Malvero uses his illusion magic to hide the entire ship to move stealthily.
THE LIMP NOODLE: A small yet surprisingly sturdy Sloop used by a Royal Republic merchant. It was taken over by the Snagmaws, then by the party, and now sits docked in Edge City, likely to be returned to the royals.
The Jeweled Whale II: A two-deck ship fit to sail the Astral Sea. Headed by captain Slappy.