Welvin- 

The bard of the party. A human, but 1/16th tortle. After graduating bard college he decided to become a traveling musician. Though, his past still haunts him. His sworn nemesis is Chad Kroger, who once called him a b**** in high school. Welvin has sworn to kick his a** the next time they meet. Welvin was scooped up by Hookbeard, where he met the rest of the party.  

Vlad Killmore-

Grew up in a holy orphanage with Lester. The nuns were harsh, very abusive. Theresa, the most brutal of the nuns left an impression on the young half-elf.  Rising above his circumstances, he swore an oath of devotion to a higher being that grants him holy power. He was picked up by Hookbeard along with Lester from Bastion Island. 

Lester-

The stealthiest thief that has never been caught. This Tiefling grew up in the same orphanage as Vlad, but unlike her holy companion she dealt with the trauma of her orphanage by stealing things. Mostly money. Although her identity to the Remesian Republic is unknown- she is currently wanted for the murder of the bullywug Guiseppi. 

Typo-

The daughter of a human father and elf mom. They were loving parents who are currently in retirement age. She grew up on a flower farm. She attended Bantshire University's Archaeology department. and at age 28 decided to go sailing. Due to her lack of seafaring knowledge she was stranded- and eventually picked up by captain Hookbeard. In a dungeon beneath the sea, Typo learned of her noble blood. She is related to the monarchs of the lost civilization of Hydren. 

Voogoo

A master of disguise, this elf-wizard uses his confidence to confuse and illuse. 

Aylar-

This mysterious monk appeared seemingly from nowhere. Seeking a master, he offered to help the group Mojave but bit off more than he could chew. After getting transported through time and space he must forge a new destiny, one unbounded by shackles of fate. 

One-thousand years late to King Dragon's birthday party the world has seen an apocalypse. The races of men, elves, and dwarves are nearly extinct. The sea has risen up thousands of feet leaving only former mountaintops as habitable places. The Remesian Republic, the Dragonfolk Union, and the Federation of Giants have all disbanded. In their place are loose conglomerates of city-states. Any that venture beyond their safety risk attack from Lightning-wielding sky pirates, brutal lizardfolk scavengers, magically enhanced Tortle Vikings, as well as monstrous threats that lurk in the skies and undersea. Can a world such as this be saved, or must it all be prevented by returning to the past? 

Ernie The Sky Pirate- Coming from a long line of Sky Pirates, Ernie's lineage is one of the last remaining of the old world. From his stronghold on Stormwind Island he commands a fleet that plunders the land. He is a collector of artifacts of the old world, and his collection is said to be home to many rare and magical objects.

Jarl- The last warrior of the Tortle Vikings. He protects the younglings that remain in hopes to rekindle their lost tribe.

Otis- A crewmember aboard the late Za's sky pirate crew. He's an Owl-cokra. He is currently an indentured servant to Mojave and serves as their Airship pilot.

Time Wizards- The last remnants of Bantshire University. They are rumored to still exist. 

The six adventurers, Aylar, Welvin, Typo, Lester, Voogoo, and Vlad tumble through the world between worlds, crashing through the twisting and turning neon tunnel of the time vortex as they return to their home plane of existence. They feel an intense resistance and burning on every pore of the skin as their bodies plummet through the stratosphere towards the ocean. Fortunately, the magic of the plane shift protects them from taking impact damage. Unfortunately, it dissipates. They're underwater, freezing in the ocean between chunks of ice floating on the rough waves. The breath evacuates their lungs and their skin becomes prickly. Frostbite will set in soon. Theres a few floating icebergs in the sea. Welvin casts Tiny Hut to protect himself. Voogoo warms the water around him as he swims to shore. Typo turns into a manatee and ferries over the rest. On one iceberg they find a camp filled with Tortle artifacts including skeleton, a trident with runes carved into it, and a warm blanket. 

As the party tries to figure out how to return home in time for King Dragon's birthday party they are beseiged by a Chuul and three Kuo-Toa. Lester turns one of the fish people into mist, dealing over 40 damage to a creature with seven hit points with her double daggers. Welvin is caught between the Chuul's pincers and crushed. Vlad plunges a sword into the beast's soft tentacly mouth. Welvin heats it with Heat Metal as the Chuul dives underwater, creating a flume of steam obscuring them both. Typo transforms into a shark to eat at the crabby monster. The terrain fights the party as much as the monsters. Fierce winds blow them, freezing water chills them to the bone, and the slick surface of the ice trips them. Lester dives underwater with her necklace and transfers it to Welvin to help him survive. He eventually frees himself and swims to surface. Vlad scores a blow with his thunderous smite, bisecting the Chuul. He and the others then carve it up for lunch. While discussing their next move they decide to take a short rest. Unfortunately for them, more Kuo-Toa interrupt. Fortunately, they're handled before Voogoo can even take a bite out of his patented Chuul-chips. (They're made by roasting the shell until crispy). Off in the distance is a shadow-y island and a small airship. Voogoo signals the airship. It flies over and drops down a ladder.

Everyone climbs and meets Za, a golden-leather bound sky pirate Aaracokra wielding a lightning javelin. Along with five other Aaracokra. Voogoo gives him a decanter filled with water, but casts prestidigitation to make it taste like beer. Welvin then readily offers up some Enimat to one of the birds as a trade offer. The sky pirates agree to help the party if they assist them in wiping out the last Tortle Viking, who lives on the mountain in the distance. The pirates offer mechanical wings, their own ship, and treasure as a reward. They agree, planning to double cross the pirates later on.

Za pilots the party right next to the floating island. The top of the island is a basin-like plateau in the clouds. There is a vegetable patch with some elderly turtlefolk working them. Puffins chirp and bounce about in a field of blooming flowers. There's two-headed cows and one large wooden structure, burning slightly. An old Tortle wearing an iron helmet stands before it shaking his head. His skin is covered in runic tattoos, similar to the ones seen at the camp on the iceberg. As they emerge atop the plateau, young Turtlefolk run inside going between the old one's legs. They peer about from inside as Za sends three of his birds to go talk to him. The old Tortle, Jarl, readies his weapons. Aylar and Lester hide. Typo walks straight up to Za and brandishes her lightning javelin. It collides with Za's and a brilliant flash of light flashes, starting combat. 

Lester and Aylar each take out a pirate on their surprise round. Aylar pummeling one into dust and Lester slicing one's wings- sending it spiraling to the deadly waters below. Jarl heads inside the structure to watch the Tortle hatchlings. Typo, Aylar, Vlad, Voogoo, and Welvin are all electrocuted at one point. The harsh landscape of the mountaintop combined with the pirate's lightning was almost too much to handle. The party is buffeted by volcanic rock, hot water spritzes, and high wind speeds that blow them about. Voogoo's magic combined with Welvin's persuasiveness gets the last Aaracokra to surrender. He's an Owl named Otis. After the fight, Jarl emerges from the house to thank the party. They ask questions such as. "Where are we?" and "What plane of existence is this?" and "are there any wizards about?" The old Tortle Viking explains that they are in the Northern Remesian Sea, in the realm of Agalion, on the Material Plane. After the fall of Bantshire University along with the Republic a millennium ago the world was splintered. Any remaining wizards are hermits living on the edge of existence. In fact, the very concept of towns are almost non-existent. There are only a few settlements spread far apart on the splintered islands towering above the ocean. The realization hits Voogoo first. They are in the correct dimension- but they are 1000 years late for King Dragon's Birthday party. 

They force Otis to drive the air-schooner towards the sunset, seeking out any possible connection to their home time. The Jarl points them in the direction of an island that is said to be home to a time wizard- although its a long journey. 

At the crack of a dark dawn Typo, Aylar, Welvin, and Lester are kidnapped by lizardfolk. Vlad and Voogoo wake just as the rest of the party's tied up bodies are thrown overboard and stashed on barges flating 200ft below their airship. 

Voogoo instructs their Owlkocra to stay out of the way as he and Vlad spring to action. Vlad wrestles with the largest of the Lizards, Marissa, as Voogoo uses magic missile. Vlad loses his grapple, and is thrown off the airship. He falls 200ft into water, the fall nearly killing him. Voogoo is left alone on the airship as Vlad swims to safety. Vlad confronts the leader of the lizardfolk- a muscular black scaled creature named Kreature. Kreature has his grunts attack the paladin with arrows. The lizards are spread across three barges. One of them containing a caged manticore. Voogoo is killed by a heavy club attack from Marissa and taken to the other captives. Vlad's defense proves too great for the lizards' ranged attacks as he hops from barge to barge slaying them., Voogoo succumbs to his wounds. Before him are two gates in the infernal plane- one leads back to the material plane, the other to his eternal rest. He chooses to return, albeit with a horribly deformed face. His charisma is permanently diminished. After downing some lizards, Vlad is caught by a volley of arrows and suffers mortal blows. He is downed.

After stealing a health potion from Lester's unconscious body and with a newfound vitality, Voogoo dives off the barge and misty steps next to Vlad. He heals the paladin. The two heroes back to back stare down the rest of the Seamen. Vlad hops across two barges past Kreature and kills two lizards. Voogoo sends off a magic missile killing three more. It's in that moment where Voogoo remembers their pilot- Otis. He calls for aid. Otis fires their artillery canon at Kreature- severely damaging him but also killing Voogoo (again) due to the collateral damage. Vlad heals him and the two team up to finish off the boss. Vlad ends him with an upward thrust into Kreature's jaw, smiting him with thunder. The battle finished, the two try unsuccessfully to become friends with the manticore. They instead opt to keep it caged, and tow it behind the airship to deal with later. They bring their allies back onto the airship and loot Kreature. On his bone throne he has the following: 2000gp, a pair of magical elven boots, a set of acid-resistant bracers, and a spell scroll containing eldritch blast.

Otis pilots the party towards Beacon Island. A far-out island rumored to be home to one of the few remaining time wizards. 

Dizzy from the previous day's roughhousing the party awakens close to Beacon Islands, a trio of floating islands 200ft above the icy sea. One is surrounded by a forcefield of air. As they make their approach the ship is crashed into by a pair of large beasts. Sky Bison. The larger of the two is ridden by a mysterious spell-caster in dark robes. He tries to lob a black fireball at the airship, but is counter-spelled by Voogoo. After trading blows for a few rounds, the robed figure is knocked out by Lester and Welvin. The bison he rides is scared away. Typo, as a bear rips apart the other with her claws. After the battle, the party unmasks the enemy to discover that his mouth is sewn shut and his skin scarred. They try to interrogate him and learn through writing that he is a member of the Black Hand. A dogmatic religious cult protecting the races of men. They feed him to the manticore and become better friends with the beast, learning that it is pregnant. Voogoo's backpack starts to rumble. Huh? It's the baby fruitkin. It's now a toddler fruitkin. He tells its father "I yearn for blood." Voogoo promises to let him do combat when he's older. Uncle Vlad gives it a walrus tusk as a weapon. Voogoo names the child "Borange." Borange the Orange. 

The party approaches the trio of floating islands. They meet a worker named Aerosmith who creates flying devices called "Airboards." In exchange for retrieving a power crystal from a nearby floating island he gives one to Welvin. After answering the riddle "Some are cherished, some are hated, and even if lost they remain with you." Answer: Memories. 

Voogoo uses Major Image to disguise him and Lester as modrons as they fly on their new airboard into the third island, with the rest of the party hiding in the bag of holding. The home of the Time-Wizard. They see his clock-motiff tower and an assembly line of modrons with various artifacts queueing to enter. One important looking modron flies down to the duo and interrogates them in a beep-boop language. Lester and Voogoo successfully deceive the machine and enter the tower where they see a slender wizard in white and purple robes. They try to speak with him as modrons, but he casts dispel magic. Their cover blown they release their breathless friends from the bag of holding. They explain their plight, their wish to return to the past. The time wizard introduces himself as GaryDavid Lattitude. He is searching for an artifact that might be able to help him complete the time travel spell, but his modrons have been unable to find it so far. What he really needs is an ancient dragon heart. The only problem being that the only remaining ancient dragon is Shadow. The very same dragon who as a wyrmling hired Mojave to kill the King. When they disappeared he went into a draconic rage that eventually caused the end of the world as was known. The sea levels rose 4000 meters, continents were razed, the giants starved, and most of the world engulfed in an endless winter. He gifts the party King Dragon's ancient armor set, which renders one wearer immune to acid damage. The dragon's island sits upon an active acid volcano- and his horde contains many of the treasures of the ancient world.

GaryDavid promises to complete the ritual for the party if they can get him the dragon's heart.

The party decides to rally allies before facing the dragon. The last remaining vestige of the races of men, elves, and dwarves is Main Island. They're ruled by a tyrant, Cuck the Invincible. His cult, the Black Hand, rules the city. They set their courses for there, hoping to free the people and gain new allies. 

Two days of sailing the air over a ruined Remes, the party catches a glimpse of a giant overgrown island just beyond the mist. Their airship is beseiged by a giant flaming rock, and they plummet to the water. Working together the party manages to minimize the damage- they make a safe landing on the sea. Just then, Kreature appears. All that remains of his corporeal form is a skeleton. Alongside him is another member of the Black Hand. The two ride a barge towards the party. Kreature demands the return of his boots and bracers. Vlad nearly gives him the bracers before Welvin reminds him that those are the very bracers they need to help them defeat Shadow, the ancient dragon that destroyed the world. Lester is about to jump to their barge when she notices unnatural movement under the water. She decides to stay put on her ship and launches an arrow at the Black Hand. Welvin casts fireball in their general direction, but the Black Hand counterspells it with an eldritch flaire. Voogoo counterspells the counterspell and the two enemies are blasted for nearly all their health. Vlad recognizes that magical essence used by the Black Hand. Its connection to the weave is through Dendar the Night Serpant, the patron of his half-brother.

On the enemies turn, three skeletons surround Voogoo. Another group of three skeletons form a raft that the Black Hand and Kreature use to hop onto the party's airship. They miss all their attacks. Voogoo kills all three skeletons and releases Blorange to try to finish off the Black Hand. He charges, walrus tusk in hand towards the enemy. He trips, falls, and begins to weep. The enemies eye the pathetic orange. The rest of the party rallies, managing to kill both the Black Hand and Kreature before they can attack their fruity child. Voogoo threatens the Black Hand, saying that he knows that he's going to the infernal plane after death- and that when he meets the Black Hand there he will kill him again for threatening his son. He then blasts the Black Hand unconcious with a firebolt to the face. Vlad and Welvin feed his (still technically alive) body to their pregnant manticore.

Kreature's head remains animated despite his body collapsing into dust. He tries to bargain his escape by trading the secret of his undeath in exchange for a new body. Vlad decides to keep him in a sack. Voogoo tries to create an illusion to fool the disbodied head, but isn't able to convince him. He then tries to throw the head back into Vlad's sack, but misses. Initiating a second combat as the head tries to bounce away. He's picked up within 1 second, combat ends. 

The party's indentured servant/pilot, Otis, explains that he will need an Arcane Crystal in order to repair the ship, and that the island nearby might have one. He sips espresso. Lester and Vlad ask for some. Vlad drinks his espresso out of Kreature's skull. The party debates on how best to get to the island. Welvin rides his flying steampunk surfboard over there holding most of the party in the bag of holding while Vlad and Blorange ride on their captured pregnant manticore. The manticore looks back at the party after dropping off the duo, then flies towards the horizon, escaping. 

Everything on the island is gigantic, even the grains of sand are as big as baseballs. Up ahead is a muddy path, in the middle of which sits a depression in the shape of a foot and a basket of large apples the size of watermelon. Welvin and Voogoo mage hand one over to them. It's a nice apple. Vlad runs directly towards the largest and prettiest of the fruit- springing a razor-wire net that grabs him and lifts him 20ft in the air. Two trolls, excuse me, Ogres, appear. Each has a large backpack filled with boulders (similar to the one launched at the airship). An exhausted Lester tries to complain her way out of combat. It doesn't work. The party deals some measly damage to the giants (Welvin was out of range to use Giant Slayer). Voogoo exploits the fear of one of them- learning his deepest darkest fear is a gigantic Spider-Snake. Vlad summons both of his camels inside the razor wire net. They're immediately turned into mincemeat from the aforementioned RAZOR WIRE as the paladin is covered in blood and summoned camel meat. Vlad then convinces the giants to stop their attack by offering the camel meat as an incentive. Combat ends and the giants go on their way.

Continuing up the path, the party enters a settlement full of giantkind. The villagers scramble and run upon seeing the party except for the leader of the village. He's an 18ft, 5000 pound Cloud Giant named Bigguns Von Mudkip due to his blue skin and orange fin that trails behind his head and neck. He wears bone armor and weilds a 6ft tall blade made of obsidian. He explains that this island is the last of Giantkind. All others went extinct during the downfall of the republic. The rising sealevel, lack of land, and enemy combatants killed off their kind through disaster, famine, and blood respectively. He explains that they live primitively, but the only person who might have an arcane crystal is an insane Oni named Insellikus who lives in nearby Sasquach Grotto. The party makes haste that way. 

They arrive to find a skull shaped cave entrance with glowing red eyes. The door is sealed and covered in magical runes, which Voogoo deciphers to say: "I run smoother than most any rhyme; I love to fall but cannot climb. Put me to the stone, and you shall enter in no time."

Of course, the party being full of absolute 400IQ brilliant masterminds figures out the answer of water in about 30 seconds. They enter the grotto to find a path of biolumescent mushrooms flanking a path to the back. It's a large chamber with a throne on which Insellikus sits. Behind him is a waterfall and before him is a gigantic boar roasting on a bonfire. He tries to barter with the party, saying that he had been wronged by the other giants. He merely wishes to repopulate their kind to rule over the rest of the world. It's just that all the female giants are to blame for him not being able to find a mate- and if they were to kidnap one for him he would accompany them in their quest and give the Arcane Crystal over freely. The party ACTUALLY considers taking his proposal. But then they decide to kill him. Before he can even act he is polymorphed into a snail and dropped in the bag of holding. Voogoo runs to the arcane crystal which of course is in a chest hidden behind the waterfall. Lester notices a pattern of 8 footprints and a tail trail in the sand going up the wall. The party is surprised by a gigantic spider-snake which attacks from the ceiling. It misses all its attacks. Welvin scares it away. The spider-snake bites and incapacitates lester, then steals the bag of holding. Vlad uses his new boots of springing and striding to jump 30ft to the creature, smiting it to death. 

Power crystal in hand, the party returns to Bigguns. He thanks them for killing Insellikus and gives them his cell-stone number, saving that he will assist them in battle against Shadow. They return to Otis, who has already fixed the ship. He laughs at the party for believing his story about the crystal- claiming that the ship actually uses a mechanical wing system to fly and doesn't require power. He just needed some alone time to fix the ship (since the party makes him uncomfortable. However, the power crystal is useful for recharing their canon. The shadow of Main Island becomes visible through the mist. It is the home of Vlad's half-brother Cuck the Invincible and the rest of his Black Hand. Next time, they will attempt to free the races of men from his eldritch grasp.

In the thrilling first part in the 2-part finale the party Mojave laid siege to Main Island, the last stronghold of the kingdom of men. The island is ran by Cuck, their old companion. His warlock powers extended his life far beyond its natural means. He uses this power to dominate the minds of all his subjects, signified by a green circlet around their head. The party arrived, ready to free them when they encountered Ziggs Killmore. The father of both Cuck and Vlad. He helped them fight through Cuck’s many defenses. In a shimmering waterfall, the party rendezvoused with GaryDavid Lattitude, the Wizard who gave them the quest. 

Eventually, the party reaches Cuck’s chamber. He’s an old shriveled mess after living for a thousand years. He beckons Vlad to join him to overthrow the dragon shadow as brothers. Ziggs reveals that he was secretly working for Cuck the whole time. Feeling betrayed, Vlad and the rest of the party begins their attack. The battle is long and fierce. Vlad loses his arm. Eventually, Aylar super kills Cuck. Vlad is upset that his half-brother is dead and decides to attack the party. He’s subdued. After Cuck’s death, the circlets surrounding his subjects heads dissipate. The humans, mindless, writhe in horror while not understanding their circumstance. Fifty generations raised with their minds dominated, they are effectively babies. 

The party Mojave leaves them in their horror- going onward to fight the dragon.  

In the months falling the downfall of the brother Killmore the party Mojave has traveled across the desolate seas to reach Shadow Island. A donut shaped rock of obsidian. The donut hole of course being filled with acid. Their allies assembled on airships surrounding the island, the party prepares to fight the dragon Shadow, steal its heart, and return back to their own time. Before going to Shadow Island they make a quick pit stop at a mausoleum dedicated to those felled by the Spider Queen nearby. Inside, they find a statue to Breela Buttersworth. Lester puts the cloak she was given a millennia ago on the statue, which then turns to dust. A naked and screaming hookbeard claws his way out of the ground, thanking her for finally completing the quest. He agrees to help them fight the dragon. They also snatch the Amalgamated Ioun Stone of Power, a shadowy magical artifact said to bestow godlike abilities. They give it to Blorange. He grows into a big strong orange fighter. 

Aerosmith, Jarl, Bigguns, and GaryDavid Lattitude circle the island on their airships cannons ready. 

The party approaches to find Shadow in human form sipping wine atop a throne of ill-gotten gold. They exchange words before Aylar runs in to punch him.  Then, Shadow plunges his rapier into the monk, killing him instantly. Typo turns into a small dragon. Amidst some gravity shenanigans and ice mephits attacking, the party manages to harm Shadow in his human form. Vlad protects Aylar from permanent death with his Acid-Proof armor. Voogoo (actually Kevin) successfully casts suggestion, goading Shadow to return to his Draconic form. In his true form, the circling airships begin their assault. Their cannons do massive damage to the dragon and Vlad. Vlad does a cool big guy attack with his lightsaber, smiting the dragon upon his rock. In response, the dragon uses seismic toss. Vlad nearly dies from fall damage, leaving a looney tunes-esque hole in the ground and holding up a small sign that says "ouch." 

Shadow downs the whole party except for Typo and Lester. In the process, he obliterates two of their allies airships. Jarl and Bigguns die. Blorange rips out his heart, powered by the Ioun Stone of Power and feeds it to Kevin, reviving him. Blorange dies in his adopted father's arms, then turns into a small sapling. Lester finishes the dragon with a sneak attack. Shadow's heart falls as the rest of its body dissapates. GaryDavid Lattitude teleports onto the island with a small squadron of Modrons. They draw pentagrams as he asks for the heart so that he can complete the time travel ritual, sending everyone back to their own timeling. Aerosmith descends, begging the party not to go through with it- for his timeline will cease to exist. Lester and Typo snap their Stick of Time Stop in equal proportion- casting the spell on both of them. Time stands still around them as they come up with a scheme. They lay bananas, oil, and arrows around the wizard's feet. Typo flies away in dragon wyrmling form, carrying the heart. She manages to escape. In the end, GaryDavid laments the loss of the heart- but is happy that Shadow has died. For now, he is the strongest being in existence. 

But what of our intrepid adventurers? 

Together, they founded the Aristocracy of Mojav. A new world, formed by their ideals. Over many generations their rule lead to the reformation of a civilized world. 

Aylar founded a new dojo, in order to pass on his martial philosophy for generations to come.  It's said in the end, he became one with the universe. 

Welvin adopted the remaining turtle children. He raised them in the School of Lore, successfully repopulating their kind. He was admired as a true Tortle after his death. They revered him as a saint. 

Typo returned to her roots. She planted a flower garden atop the highest remaining peak. Her efforts reclaimed many lost islands and species. Because of her, new towns, cities, and life were able to process. Her followeres buried her amongst the garden of her parents.  

Lester took most of the treasure seized by the Dragon Shadow. She used that wealth to form an estate. Although she horded most of her wealth, she was known to have a softspot for orphanages- never allowing any to suffer as she had in her early years. However, in the end- she was backstabbed by her own heir. A tear fell down her face. It was the happiest day of her life.

Kevin mastered the illusury arts. He took on many apprentices in his time and learned to accept himself for who he was. Additionally, he fostered a whole new generation of fruitkin children. 

Vlad was badly damaged from the battle with Shadow. He felt the pain in his body until the end of his days. Yet, through his pain he was able to create beauty. As the last follower of his oath, he turned to philosophy. Eventually finding inner peace. His blade and armor would become known as legendary weapons that future adventurers would seek for all time. 

Hookbeard: A mad pirate escaped from the Astral plane commanding a skeleton crew on his ship, The Wet Dream. 

Ziggs Killmore: The father of Cuck and Vlad.  A former adventurer that found his fortune and became a merchant. Went missing leaving only behind a silver cord. 

Jolly Joe: Influential gang leader on Bastion Island. 

Deputy Donovan: The guard captain of Portside. (KILLED BY GUISEPPI)

Guiseppi: A powerful magic-using bullywug. A lieutenant of the Spider Princess.  (KILLED BY LESTER)

The Spider Princess: Leader of the Spider Cult. 

King Dragon: The lord of Vellin Island- self appointed as "King" but bearing no such authority. Second cousin of the dwarven consul for the Remesian Republic. 

Four folks find themselves stranded on a backwater island in the middle of the Norther Remesian sea with one goal on their mind: adventure. Lester, Cuck, and Vlad Killmore. (Melvin) was there too but he slept through this day. Lester, Cuck, and Vlad meet with Stabby Steve in an alleyway. Stabby says that he has an in with Hookbeard, a pirate who visits the island once per year. He asks them to kill rival gang leader Jolly Joe in exchange for information on how to get on Hookbeard's ship. The rival gang leader, Jolly Joe actually turns out to be a nice guy so the party agrees to double cross Stabby and help out Joe. (After getting some free mutton). 

They then try to triple cross Stabby but he ends up getting enraged and provokes a combat. The party makes quick work of Stabby and his goons and decide to hand him over to Jolly Joe in the morning.

The party wakes up in the Leaky Lifeboat tavern and Inn with Stabby Steve still tied up in a chair. They decide to carry him through town to Jolly Joe's hideout. In the alleyway, they are passed by a stampede of commoners running away in terror. Three skeletons crowd the alleyway, plundering all in their path. Cuck makes a very successful performance check. He acts so casual that the skeletons take no notice to him nor the rest of the party. 

After delivering Stabby to Jolly Joe and receiving 15 gp each, the party heads to Hookbeard in order to get aboard his ship. His ship is manned by a literal skeleton crew. They learn that Hookbeard won't leave port without his favorite sheep Bess. The party agrees to chase down his beloved in exchange for a ride on his ship. Melvin decides to help out today, so he uses his big brain inside of his small head to discover the tracks of Bess' wool leading into the woods. Following them, the party comes upon a fallen adventurer, sword still in hand. Lester sneaks around them and discovers a goblin getting ready to pounce on the party. She jumps from behind cover and is able to injure it, but its yelp reveals two other hiding goblins that attack the rest of the party. Cuck uses eldritch blast on most of them. 

At the end of the trail, the party finds a cave with skull shaped rock formations on the outside. Two goblins standing watch. Vlad makes a heroic javelin throw from over 100ft away and is able to finish them off before they can alert any other guards.

Heading inside, the party discovers a narrow tomb with markings on the wall showing a great battle and an oath written in Elven. Ignoring the surroundings, the party instead focuses on a sleeping goblin. Vlad holds it like a baby and tries to put it in an offering table at the center of the room as Cuck tries to eldritch blast its face. The goblin wakes, takes a stab at Cuck, then tries to hop over Vlad in order to escape to the final room. Vlad is able to react quickly, and spears the goblin right above his head. 

Continuing to the final room, the party finds Bess dangling from a chain being lowered in a cauldron of oil. The leader of the goblins, a hobgoblin tries to get the party to trade Bess for Melvin but they decline and instead engage combat. Despite a strong start, the party members begin to fall. Cuck allows the hobgoblin to trade spots, allowing the monster to down Melvin in a single hit. Cuck is downed by reinforcements a few rounds later. Vlad was unable to hit the slippery goblins for a few rounds, and ends up stabbed and bleeding on the ground. Lester was able to hold the line solo for two rounds, but then was knocked out with the rest of the party. Melvin perishes on the ground just as Cuck awakens and eldritch blasts the final goblin. The party frees Bess, does a funeral for Melvin, and continues onto Hookbeard's ship- "The Wet Dream." They sail away into the sunset, ready to adventure on...

Brothers Vlad and Cuck wake up aboard Hookbeard's ship, The Wet Dream. Lester had a rough night and decided to stay asleep. They meet the two non-skeleton crewmembers of the ship. Welvin and Typo. They instantly hit it off and decide to travel together. On one side of the ship is a vast, spooky algea forest covered in mist. To the other, is a small merchant vessel. Hookbeard asks which the party would rather sail towards. They choose the merchant vessel. 

Aboard that ship is Captain McKracken, a dwarf with a carrot-orange beard and golden monocle. He's joined by four of his crewmates. McKracken is selling "discount magical weapons and armor." He politely requests that they send over one of their party members to look at the goods in person. Vlad is voluntold to go. As he is closely inspecting the goods, Captain McKracken surprises him with a gun and threatens to kill him if they don't hand over all their treasure. Combat is initiated. Unfortunately, Cuck was experiencing some magical performance anxiety and botched two eldritch blasts. This was made up for by the holy fury of Vlad as well as the cunning of Typo. Typo turned herself into a squirrel, and had Welvin shoot her out of a cannon onto the enemy ship. 

After slaying McCracken, Vlad intimidates the remaining two dwarves to surrender. They kick their flintlocks into the sea and submit. McCrakcen's meager treasure, shoddy magical items, and sloop are seized by the party. But will Hookbeard allow them to take it all? Find out next time. 

After a completely relaxing nap, our heroes find their ship stuck in a thick kelp forest permeating the surface of the sea. The echoing sound of ribbets over the water in their ears. Pilfering the goods from Captain McCracken, Welvin claims The Dorpal Sword. A sword designed to explode on contact. He stashes it for now. 

Several Bullywugs clad in loin cloths and wielding wooden spears besiege the Wet Dream. The party fears them until learning they only have one hit point each. Also being attacked by the unfriendly frogs is Buxworth, a gnome wizard wearing the red and white robes of Bantshire University.

At one point, Vlad bravely pushes one of the monsters into the ocean, only for it to continue swimming. Welvin does most of the heavy lifting in this fight. His mockery of the amphibians is crude, but vicious. After felling the final frog, the party learns that Buxworth was looking for Melvin, Welvin's cousin that died two sessions prior. Typo turns into a gorilla to help the party across the kelp forest, but nearly drowns. Buxworth has discovered that the stone platform on which he stands is actually the entrance to an ancient underwater temple to a lost civilization. Welvin inhales the spirit of the dragon statue, and reveals the entrance. 

Descending a long spiral stone staircase, the party finds a nest of hammocks holding more bullywugs going for hundreds of feet in the air. They ignore them. Instead, they choose to meet the flesh golem named Opi in the kitchen, who at first tries to cook Typo and Vlad, thinking they are the new food (the former still a gorilla). After politely informing the monster that they are in fact, not food, they inspire him with tales from beyond the dungeon. With the magic of persuasion they make a friend of him. He feeds them from yesterday's food and goes on his way.

Exploring the dungeon, Typo and Lester get trapped behind two sets of heavy portcullis. An animated sword and set of armor begin attacking them at the same time five bullywugs clad in dark robes appear from the obviously placed hammocks above. Welvin throws the Dorpal Sword, creating a large explosion that vaporizes three of the wugs immediately. The other enemies are slowly picked off by the rest of the party. 

Continuing in the dungeon, they find a jail cell holding a prisoner. A sinewy man named Clippy that claims to be a level 17 wizard that gave up his spellbook to travel the world as a fighter. His comrades were captured and turned into yesterday's food. They free him, and he helps Typo become the rightful heir to the lost civilization's throne. Also Typo grows a magic hexagon that provides the key to the final room of the dungeon.

Inside the final room is a summoning pool surrounded by three hooded bullywugs. Their leader, Giuseppe explains that they are summoning an abberation, and that the party must offer one of their own in order to not be killed. Vlad tries to relate to them, explaining that he too has an unhealthy obsession with the divine. His argument is met with the sticky splatter of an ettercap's web, the monster they were summoning. Despite the buildup, the party doesn't struggle much with dispatching the wugs and their ettercap. Finally, Giuseppe is left cornered by Cuck and Welvin. Just when it seems like the battle is won, Giuseppe casts dimension door and manages to escape. The party is able to loot a pile of gold and some gems. 

On the surface, the kelp seems to have thinned. Hookbeard says that he will take the party to the penal colony of Vellin, where he will likely part ways with them. 

You see, Hookbeard can no longer blend in with society. His years in the Astral Plane have warped his soul beyond the confines of what even the most accepting society would accept. What if he were to see Slappy one-eye McGee, his most feared frenemy? Well, at the least he might lose an eye. It would be unfair of Hookbeard to keep his newfound allies. Despite their desire for companionship it is his solemn responsibility to traverse the material plane alone. Only when the double moon eclipse passes over old Hookbeard can he once again return from where he came. 

On the final day aboard The Wet Dream, Hookbeard invites the party into his quarters to discuss their farewell. He pays them each two doubloons each in exchange for the dwarven prisoners. Bess brings out a round of rum for all. Hookbeard requests that the party bring a black cloak to Breela Buttersworth, an aristocrat that he has a soft spot for. The party decides to take one last look around the ship before leaving. 

Lester opens a dusty barrel from which a bullywug jumps out. The party quickly knocks it out for questioning. They learn that Guiseppi lives, and that the wug had tried to enact revenge for the party invading their dungeon. Despite pleas from the rest of the party, Cuck executes him with eldritch blast. They find a pile of old flintlock pistols and musketballs underneath. All but Cuck take one. Welvin steals a barrel of enimat from Hookbeard.

At the docks of the village Portside, a dwarven knight wearing full armor marches up to the ship with two guards. He introduces himself as Deputy Dan, the head of the guards in Portside. He requests identification of the party, who he distrusts for arriving on a pirate ship. Vlad is able to leverage his holiness. Deputy Dan agrees to give them writs of passage in exchange for assisting him in investigating the strange happenings in his town. Villagers are going missing, and a low rumbling roar can be heard throughout the day. Lester presses Deputy Dan to also give them two horses and a carriage in exchange for their service. 

The party first goes to the Half Pint, the only tavern in town. As they enter, they see The Wet Dream sail away into the sky. The tavern, which caters mostly to halflings, dwarves, and bullywugs, is sized accordingly. After checking their sizes, Welvin spots a group of halflings playing war. He places a bet and manages to win a large sum of gold. He is shunned by the halflings, until he buys an entire barrel of Ebberon Elixer for all to share. He instantly becomes their friend. The tavernkeep, Little Fellah, informs the party that villagers have been going missing, and that more and more creatures wearing black robes have been frequenting the town. In fact, the general store owner, Jimmy has gone missing and his store is boarded up. As the party discusses, a group of three red-pilled dwarves try to stop the party from leaving. They claim that their tallness is ruining the vibe of the tavern, and to leave before they throw them out. Welvin is able to convince the halflings to fight the dwarves in lieu of the party. Welvin and Cuck then place bets on which side will win the brawl. Blad, Blester, Buck, and Belvin take turns smashing chairs, stabbing with broken bottles, and bludgeoning with tankards. The dwarves are finally knocked out with Belvin smashes the bottom of a chair over a dwarf's head, causing his head to become trapped. Welvin gains another 4 gold pieces from his successful bets. 

The party then goes outside to investigate. Using his newfound owl familiar, Joubal, Cuck surveys the area for any suspicious activity. Joubal spots a pair black hooded bullywugs entering the boarded-up general goods store. Vlad blesses Lester, Welvin, and Joubal. Welvin uses bardic inspiration on. Lester and Joubal climb to the top of the building. The former shimmies down the chimney, stealthily. She then, stealthily, sneaks up and unlocks the door the backroom with the chimney. She overhears bullywugs conversing, and more entering. She then tries to stealthily exit the building to inform her comrades, but is unable to stealthily do so. However, using the magic of bless and the angelic inspiration of Welvin, she is able to turn her roll of "5" into a "15." She relays the information. Then, she stealthily climbs back into her hiding spot. Stealthily.  

Through the eyes of Joubal, Cuck sees a bound halfling being dragged into the store by another Bullywug. The rest of the party gathers at the back of the general goods store to plan their attack. Welvin unsuccessfully tries to convince Blad to dress up as a cultist and knock on the door, but Blad refuses. Another bullywug comes to the back of the general store and begins to interrogate the party- trying to get them to leave. Cuck claims that they want to be initiated into the cult. The wug seems satisfied. He claims that Guiseppi will be pleased to have new members and invites them in. Inside they have bound the halfling, and are getting ready to ritually sacrifice him. Apparently it was another bullywug's initiation today. Vlad is given an obsidian dagger. He is told to finish the halfling to prove his loyalty to the Spider Princess. Vlad questions if the fellow had committed any crime. The bullywugs respond that his only crime was not devoting himself to the glory of the Spider Princess. Vlad then initiates combat with the dagger. Lester stealthily emerges from her hiding spot and is able to kill one of the bullywugs outright while injuring another. Welvin reveals his flintlock that was tied to his ankle and finishes the other. The third bullywug lands a critical hit on Welvin with his scimitar, just before being knocked out by Cuck's eldritch blast. The final bullywug uses its dash action to run out- but Lester breaks through a window and rips down his torso with her dagger. Stealthily. On his body, Lester finds a note detailing their plans to seize the Everbright Star. 

The party decided to take an afternoon nap while tying up the unconscious bullywug for questioning. 

But what of Captain Hookbeard, Bess, and The Wet Dream? They traversed back to the Astral Plane. A dimension of unending sunsets on an ever-shifting sea of uncertainty.  Hookbeard will return.  

Waking from a short nap at the general goods store, the party interrogates Ribbert, an incapacitated bullywug. They decieve him by saying that they also worship the Spider Cult, but are part of a different sect. He reveals that the cult will be letting loose a giant in the town today. His knowledge beyond that is limited though, so Cuck decides to limit the rest of his life by exploding his head. Typo steals a jar of oil from the store.

Shortly thereafter- the giant comes barreling into town with some cultists aiding it. The town is in a panic. The party is joined by Donovan, the guard captain. The giant kills Joubal the familiar. It corners Cuck who consistently deals massive damage with hex and eldritch blast. Typo turns into a bear and starts mauling the cultists. She also enters the tavern, whose door is left open. Little Fellah is knocked unconscious and being held inside a bag. She meets Edge Deathblade, an assassin. They have a pleasant conversation before Typo allows him to leave peacefully. He gives her his cell-stone number. Outside, Lester helps take down some of the cultists as Vlad is tossed against the side of a building. The halflings that Welvin supported in the tavern join the battle. Since the brawl, they have decided to become an adventuring party called The Shortswords. They help weaken the giant by launching a volley of crossbow bolts. Vlad then grapples a frog as Donovan finishes it off. Typo lassos the giant's neck. Cuck is able to slip away and blast it's face off with a final eldritch blast. 

The party then makes a quick stop at the lighthouse. The enchanted door knocker proves to be stubborn. It requests to be knocked harder, which the party obliges. It then tells them if they wish to enter they must pay the door toll. After offering incompatible items for some time, Lester simply scales the building. She sees their ally, clippy and another old person, Henry, who is the lighthouse keeper. Lester provides them with some ammunition to ensure their safety. Cuck decides he's had enough of rude, lewd, and shrewd enchanted doorknockers. He decides to go join The Shortswords for a sidequest of falconry.

The rest of the party then goes to take on the manorhouse, where the cult has established a base of operations. Welvin thunderwaves through the front gate, blowing it off its hinges. They storm the keep until they're greeted by Marg, a bridge troll. He says he can tell they aren't part of the cult, but will let them cross the rickety bridge for some gems or coin. The party each offers a gem and he lets them cross. When the party reaches halfway across, he puts both of his hands  on posts on his side of the bridge and demands more payment in exchange for him not felling the bridge. The depths below are full of crocodiles. The party refuses, he collapses the bridge. The whole party manages to hold on! Despite a botched attempt at climbing up, they're eventually able to make it over the ridge on the opposite side of the moat. Lacking a ranged option, Marg simply leaves the party alone. Lester shoots a passive-aggressive arrow at him as he walks away. 

Inside the manorhouse, Lester brutally executes a friendly knight. Stealthily. 

They then continue on to discover two gargoyle statues. Welvin and Typo concoct an explosion using calcium powder and water to destroy one. Over many, many, MANY turns the party manages to crash a chandelier onto the second gargoyle- crushing both the gargoyle and also Vlad. Typo uses a lightning spear to land the final blow. 

In the ballroom, the party finds four chains that were previously used to hold the hill giant that attacked the town. They also find three test-tubes holding clones for more giants to be grown. Vlad destroys them all. This alerts the enemies upstairs. Four cultists and Guiseppi come running down. Typo transforms into a spider and finds Buxworth hiding upstairs. She releases him. The party quickly kills the cultists as Guiseppi escapes again using dimension door. Buxworth gives the party a scroll of dimension door and a letter, detailing Guiseppi's plans to obtain the Everbright Star. Tomorrow evening, a pack of Hill Giants and Frog Knights will descend upon the village for an attack.

Meanwhile...

In the Astral Plane Hookbeard seeks to maintain his notoriety and return to the top 10 list of most feared pirates. The sky is an unending sunset of the most vivid purples and orange lights. Aboard a floating pleasure island, he sits in a tavern surrounded by other vagabonds. Among them is Gizmo, a Githyanki bounty hunter. His thin frame sits drunkenly at the booth, his brown overcoat powdered white from enimat. Underneath he pulls a silver bullet from his bandolier and twirls it. 

Enchanted orbs cast a neon light in the dark tavern. The staff conceal their identities with white masks and elaborate robes. Drinks flow liberally. Hookbeard buys a round for his table. In slurred words and through a crooked tooth smile Gizmo tells of a halberd known as Seabreaker. It was swallowed by a most fowl creature, The Psurlon. This Halberd is like no other. It is an artifact of the lost civilization of Hydren and said to be worth multiple platinum pieces. Satisfied, and sure of his mission, Hookbeard thanks the bounty hunter, stands up, and turns heel. A cacophony can be heard as the others at their table all pull their guns on the pirate. 

I wouldn't be doing that if I were you, arghhhh. phlegms Hookbeard. I always give thanks for information. 

He winks at the bartender. She, as well as eleven of the waitstaff remove their masks to reveal that they are skeletons. Hookbeard's circlet glows pink. The skeletons each ready a crossbow. 

You may beat me there- cries Gizmo as he sits back down. But soon enough you'll be Psurlon meat. 

You really are a good friend Gizmo. Don't worry about the tab, I'm friends with the staff. remarks Hookbeard, as he exits the establishment followed by his skeleton crew. 

At dusk Typo, Welvin, Vlad, and Lester stand outside the guard barracks in the town square of Portside. Before heading in, they decide to track down Cuck, who had gone off on his own to practice falconry with the Shortswords. Vlad is able to smell the particular blend of evil of his half-brother and is able to track him easily. 

Finishing up his training, Cuck is beckoned by Blad and Belvin of the Shortswords to head further into the woods for a surprise. He reluctantly agrees. They bring him to a cliff overlooking the water where there is a schooner anchored. The other halflings are loading the ship with supplies, preparing it for departure. One of their falcons had found the ship and guided it back to the island. Cuck goes down to the ship to speak with Crimson, an automaton pirate that has recruited the halflings to be his crew. He offers Cuck the opportunity to join his crew and sail to the mainland in exchange for his help. Cuck replies that he'd love to, but he has to go get his "slaves" first. Crimson agrees under the condition that each one of Cuck's charges must post 30gp as collateral, and that if he is short on funds that he should pillage Portside, as it's about to be invaded anyway. 

The rest of the party catches up to the scene. Cuck pitches the idea, and they disagree. Instead, they want to return to the town to retrieve the reward for putting a stop to the activities at the manor. Cuck deceives Crimson into letting him take one of the halflings to help with the pillaging. He wants to take Blad, but Blad is Crimson's favorite. Instead, the party takes the innocent Buck along for the ride. They head into the woods. 

Walking in pitch black through a forest they are unfamiliar with, the party quickly becomes lost. They stumble through the forest until they reach a clearing with a large stone throne surrounded by hooting owls. They all prove to be perceptive enough to hear the sound of six bandits surrounding them. Bandit Kieth, their leader, orders them to drop all their items in order to live. Lester tries to talk him out of the attack, claiming that he should instead plunder the ship they just left. (Buck tries to correct her but is silenced). Bandit Kieth considers her proposal but ultimately decides to attack both the party and the pirate. Combat is initiated! 

Buck is eager to start the combat, he gleefully runs up to the stone throne and slashes Bandit Kieth. Welvin adds insult to injury rolling max damage on two vicious mockeries thanks to his critical initiative roll. Bandit Kieth retaliates by decapitating Buck with a single chop of his axe. His still-smiling head rolls down the steps landing next to Typo, who had fallen down. Vlad divine smites his javelin and throws it, exploding one of the bandits with a holy vengeance. Lester lands one strong blow on one of the bandits, but then struggles to hit her again over the next few turns. Typo tries to throw the decapitated head of Buck at Bandit Kieth but misses. She then turns into a bear. The surrounding owls stop hooting, as an Owlbear sprints up to clearing, licking its lips. As a bear, Typo convinces the Owlbear to go after Bandit Kieth, as he is the juiciest. The Owlbear agrees. Vlad makes a callout to the three remaining enemy bandits to convince them to join their side and fight the Owlbear. He is able to convince one of them. Cuck blasts the Owlbear with eldritch blast. Welvin takes Bandit Keith's own axe and strikes him down with it. Vlad goes over to his still-glowing javelin, then divine smites his flintlock. He lets loose a perfect shot at the bear, smiting it from afar. The bear explodes into a mass of white light with a chorus of angels heard for a moment. The battle won, the party releases the remaining bandits and tells them to go join Crimson in their stead. 

The party makes it back to the barracks at Portside. Deputy Donovan is inside, wiping his brow from the fight earlier. He thanks the party for their help with the manor and begins to get their reward ready. Each member of the party gives their backstory for the first time. They also must select a party name. Eventually settling on Mojave. Donovan stamps his seal on each of the character's writ of passage, making them citizens of the Remesian Republic and official adventurers. Donovan reveals that Guiseppi is a descendant of Ziggs Killmore, making him the half-brother of Cuck and Vlad. He then prepares to fight the invading force. Mojave leaves him, saying goodbye for the last time. 

Their horses are named Ron and Ginny. They begin to ride out of town, only two hours to dawn. An air raid siren is heard as thousands of leaflets are dropped in the town square. An airship is seen overhead, carrying Guiseppi who is riding a black dragon, as well as a small army of frog cultists. The airship is a large blimp with a single deck and a storage hatch underneath holding... who knows what? 

Upon seeing their nemesis, Vlad steers the carriage around to go face down the threat and save the town. 

Meanwhile....

The splintered hull of the Wet Dream is crashed at Marcatus island. On a secluded beach, Hookbeard and his skeletons fight The Psurlon. One of the sinewy arms of the beast snap at a skeleton, splitting the ribcage with its claws. Bones surround Hookbeard's feet. Eight skeletons have already fallen. Four remain. One of them steps in front of Hookbeard, blocking another swipe. Three remain. The Psurlon's plunges at Hookbeard with its rows of serrated teeth and takes a bite out of his unwashed shoulder.

So you like the taste of Hookbeard do ya? Says Hookbeard, pouring rum on his fresh wound. 

His circlet glows pink. Two skeletons grab an arm, while the last climbs atop the beast and holds its mouth agape. Hookbeard crawls into its mouth, wriggling down its earthworm-like neck. His skin is pricked by a thousand teeth as he squirms into the belly of the beast. Fear, pain, and disgust mean nothing to a determined pirate. He reaches the belly. Shining amongst the bones and goop is The Halberd of Hydren. Eyes filled with wonder he takes the weapon in his hands. With one sure cut he bisects The Psurlon and crawls out covered in astral digestive fluid. Two skeletons remain. They bring him a towel. The sun begins to rise over his destroyed ship. Bess is standing atop it, she lets out a heroic baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Hookbeard smile begins to crack- just before he hears the sound of a sand sailor speeding over the dunes towards him. Three mousefolk in green cloaks pilot it. Hookbeard stowes the halberd in his portable hole, takes a swig of a healing potion, and reloads his pistols.

You hear that Bess? We're close to home. 

baaaaaaaaaaaa.

It is three hours to dawn. Fresh minted adventuring party Mojave turns their carriage back towards Portside. It’s the village that first welcomed them- they feel a duty to protect it from an oncoming invasion. 

Welvin leads an inspiring speech to the townsfolk, inspiring the strongest among them to take up armaments. They also construct barriers, release a prisoner Weasel Roger. Weasel used to work for Bandit Keith and is happy to hear he’s dead. He barters his loyalty for a cloak and freedom. 

The attack begins. Guiseppi rides a black dragon into battle, accompanied by a balloon-suspended airship. The airship drops two hill giants, a team of frog cultists, and a grung warlock. The civilians and cultists skirmish, negating each other’s position in the battle. Typo, Lester, and Vlad attack the giants. Vlad tries to feed one of them a rotten mutton leg but is nearly eaten himself. Lester gets hit so hard that she nearly dies. Her virtuous and stealthy soul decides to stay in the material plane and aid her allies. She loses some teeth. Typo turns into a spider. Weasel runs away during the commotion, surprising no one. Welvin gets a good shot at the black dragon. The dragon rebukes Guiseppi, angered that the invasion isn’t going as well as planned. He throws Guiseppi off of him. 

The giants manage to destroy the lighthouse and steal the Everbright Star. As Lester and Typo are finishing off the giant carrying it, Guiseppi swipes it from the giant’s hand and uses dimension door to land atop the airship. Lester using a bardic inspiration manages to land a shoot at her maximum range in the back of Guiseppi’s neck. He drops the Everbright Star on the airship before falling to the earth, dead. The grung puts up his webbed fingers and scampers into the forest. Vlad goes over to Guiseppi’s dying body and interrogates him about the location of their father. With his dying croak, he reveals that Ziggs Killmore was banished to the Astral Plane and went mad. Mojave watches the sunrise over a grateful town. They are rewarded with a giantslaying axe, and Lester pulls the Cape of the Mountebank off of Guiseppi’s body. 

Cuck bids goodbye to Crimson and The Shortswords. The former remarks that he would make for a good pirate, if only circumstances were different. Crimson gives him a minor healing potion and wishes him good luck. Cuck travels through the woods on his own to regroup with the rest of the party. On the way, he's stopped by four goblin bandits. They threaten to take all his gold. Cuck refuses and starts blasting in the eldritch variety. The goblins are unusually tactical, and use the terrain and their ranged attacks to their advantage- peppering Cuck as a group with arrows. Cuck is nearly killed- but is ultimately able to overpower the goblins. He reaches level four. 

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The clearing fog reveals the dawn of a fresh day. One in which Guiseppi is vanquished and the adventuring party Mojave is free to explore the lands according to their own whims. Cuck rejoins the rest of the party. Lester tries to abduct Little Timmy, a peasant orphan from the village. When he refuses to join her, she instead intimidates him into building a shrine to her. Vlad also nicely requests to build a church in the town. To what god? He is unsure. He is searching for new gods. The party enters The Sorrowwood, a forest of gray trees. Near the entrance they meet a well-dressed tiefling Fizzy Fitzwater. He claims to have a potion that can heal Lester's broken teeth- but they cannot afford it. There is, however, a mushroom that he is looking for in a nearby grotto. The grotto is guarded by a necromancer Nargeldorp and his skeletons. In exchange for one of the mushrooms, a Blue Daddy, he will give the potion.

The party advances towards the grotto and spots the necromancer crafting potions- using up a blue daddy in the process. He pours one into a corpse- and from the corpse sprouts a re-animated skeleton. Lester tries to sneak and shoot an arrow at him- but her foot snaps a twig underfoot. Nargeldorp spots the party and demands that they join him, or die. They choose to die. Vlad throws a thunderous-smote javelin at him, landing a critical hit. In response, Nargeldorp casts hold person on Vlad, paralyzing him. The skeletons volley arrows at him, bringing him to death. Cuck and Welvin cast their ranged spells at the skeletons. In the midst of the battle, Lester is running back and forth between the front line and her allies- reviving Vlad a total of three times in a single combat. Nargeldorp's spiritual weapon keeps the party pinned at the top of the grotto. Eventually, Welvin makes his way down the hill to start singling out the skeletons. Vlad makes a heroic leap off of a 20ft high cliff while at one hit point and slashes Nargeldorp in the eyes, killing him. His knees then explode on landing, and starts dying again. Lester revives him once more. They take two blue daddies. With Fizzy, they trade one for the lesser restoration potion. (avoiding temptations for a flying or fireball potion). Lester drinks it. Her broken teeth all fall out. They are replaced by a new set of fresh pearly white chompers. Fizzy also reveals that Hookbeard came to him for a cure for Bess- claiming that the sheep was once a human. After some casual Tiefling racism, they part ways. 

On the side of the trail the party sees a wooden arrow sign that reads "relaxing hot spring ahead." They follow the short wooded trail and are greeted by Fred, an unusually friendly troll sitting in a toll booth wearing a top hat with a fez on top of it. For one silver each, he lets the party relax in his hot springs with the disclaimer "no refunds." Lester manages to barter, and gives the troll a doubloon and three copper instead of the silver. The party relaxes, and each gains a d6 to use on any roll for the rest of the day. Fred thanks them and reminds "no refunds." The party travels on. An hour in they realize that their skin and clothes are dyed purple from the neck down where the water touched them. They don't care, at least the blood is washed off.

Further up the trail, the party enters a stretch of woods lined with yellow musk flowers. It's a lotus shaped flower. A horde of plant-infected zombies block the road ahead. Vlad, driving the carriage tries to vault over the horde- but is unable to handle the animals. The zombies begin assaulting the carriage and horses. Ron is slammed by two zombies until it falls. Cuck is dominated by a Yellow Musk Creeper; a mind-controlling plant. Cuck begins attacking the rest of the party. Lester, Cuck, and Vlad struggle to keep the horde at bay while also fighting Cuck and the plant. Fortunately, Ginny helps by chomping at the plant and its zombies. At one point, the entire party except for Lester is dying. Lester spars with Cuck and the plant- giving Welvin enough time to wake up. Lester and Welvin stab at the Yellow Musk Creeper until it dies, despite its regenerating. Cuck similarly is knocked out, ending the charm effect. 

Bloody, bruised, broken, and down one horse the party gets ready to rest for the night. Up ahead they spot camel footprints in the mud leading up to an exotic looking tent and a delicious smelling campfire.

Light gently falls upon the date-scented tent the party slept in. Upon sitting up they come face to face with Crazy Hassan, famed used camel salesman from across the multiverse. Claiming that used camels are best camels, he does his best to sell the party a camel to replace the dead horse Ron. Passing up the opportunity to buy a space camel and a dragon camel they instead purchase a standard forest camel at a discount price. About to set on the road oncemore, the party meets a battered adventurer Ladron. The man is full of arrows, his beard singed by flame. He claims that he was hired by a local lord to retrieve a magic necklace from a cave full of Kobolds, but they were too strong for him. The party decides to take up the challenge themselves. 

Setting off on an alternate trail just off the main road, they reach a  fast rushing river with an altar to the water god Procan. There's a rowboat washed up ashore and a large boulder on the other side of the river.Typo appears as a camel to lead the new forest camel Washington back to the tent. Welvin is able to lasso the boulder, fastening the other end of his rope to the altar. He tries to nimbly tiptoe his way to the other side when his foot gets caught. At the same time, parts of the river turn to ice as a squad of ice mephits are summoned. Vlad's holy senses start tingling. Fortunately, the mephits speak Spanish. Vlad and Lester communicate with them. The leader of the mephits, Karen, explain that the party failed to make an offering to the god and are being punished. The party parts with their doubloons in the name of Procan then the elemental demons vanish back into the water. 

Reaching the cave, the party comes face to face with a waterfall. They squeeze past it into the entrance of the cave. There, they see a stone statue of a wizard hand outstretched. Welvin immediately guesses that a medusa or similar creature turned this person into a statue. Vlad pushes it over. They enter the cave and are locked in by a portcullis on one end and a wall of fire on the other. Kobolds with bows poke in from slits in the ceiling above, hailing arrows at the adventurers. Lester stealthily climbs a wall but is unable to reach the kobolds' arms. Vlad braces to rush through the fire and realizes that it lets off no heat. The rest of the party then runs through the illusory wall of fire. 

The next room is a stone arena of concentric steps leading to a stone pavilion in the center with four statues. A balcony juts out above. As Welvin investigates the rectangle carvings on the walls Vlad takes a look at the statues. Lester climbs the balcony and discovers that the wall behind it is hollow. She helps the others up with rope. They discover the secret door and are greeted with a lavish room. Standing in it is Ladron. He looks flustered as the party enters, then removes his disguise to reveal that he is actually Weasel Roger. The weasel admits that he sent the party here to fight a basilisk for a kobold audience, who he charges admission. Lester and Welvin want to kill him immediately, but Vlad promises not to. To avoid having to fight the kobolds, Welvin and Vlad agree to fight the basilisk before the audience while Lester hides on the balcony with The Weasel, ready to strike at any funny business. The kobolds enter the arena from hidden tunnels around the room. They fill the seats and cheer as Vlad and Welvin enter the center, the platform lowering to reveal the yellow eyes of the beast. Welvin prods at the basilisk with his rapier as Vlad distracts it with a mirror stolen from The Weasel's room. Vlad's attacks deal considerable damage. As The Weasel is providing commentary, Lester stealthily eviscerates him in front of the audience. The cheering stops for a moment as his entrails slide down the side of the balcony painting the stone red. His last gasping breath is "get her." The crowd of fifty becomes enraged and immediately start climbing over each other to reach the rogue. Her nimbleness allows her to dodge past the crowds, stomping on a kobold's head as she tries to jump off the balcony. Her foot is caught by a kobold, and she dangles off the edge. Welvin activates his dead eye mode and headshots the kobold holding her. Lester fails to catch the wall and lands on her tailbone, bruising it. Without wincing at the pain, she strides towards the basilisk still distracted by the mirror. As she dodges past the mass of kobolds surrounding her, she leaps above them all and sends forth a critical arrow shot that fells the beast with a final twang. The crowd is stunned for a beat before erupting into cheer for the new champion. They play the music of the beloved bard Lady Gaga as they lift Lester into a crowdsurf, donning her with an enchanted necklace that allows waterbreathing. Despite nearly dying to a crowd of kobolds, the party walks away from this excursion with nine gold pieces, a fun necklace, and having killed a weasel. 

The dawn light is fragmented by a spider web between the huge barn doors opposite the hay bale that the party slept in. It's spring, but everyone can see their breath.  There is an earthly smell in the air. The Brahmin that lives in this barn grunt at the intruders. The quadruple nostrilled beast's breath visible in the cool air. 

Let's see where we ended up last night says Lester, stirring awake before the others. 

Peering around the barndoors she sees a homestead. Vibrant green grass everywhere, with the mountain range Bahamut's Spine forming a smokey ridge to the North. In addition to the barn there is a chicken coop, warehouse, barracks, manor, and a one story wooden building with a thatched roof. A sign hangs from it that reads "Soul Brew coffee roasters." Content halflings go about their business on the farm. A white mustachioed and potbellied halfling in a yellowed shirt sits on the porch of the manor sipping from an espresso sized cup, it looks appropriate for his size. 

All clear. 

Stnding up Welvin demands Let's go get some coffee.

The fresh air fills their lungs the party walks through the homestead saying hello to their horse and camel on the way to Soul Brew. Inside is a rectangular sitting room with a single table, at which sits a hooded man in a trench coat. On the wall is a decorative piano, placed there. At the counter is a halfling wearing a tie-dye tunic. He looks over his circular black sunglasses as they enter. 

Welcome to Soul Brew the groovy halfling says with a smile. 

I'll take a cup. How much do I owe? responds Welvin.

First one's free. Name's Joe. Snapping his fingers a flame sputters to life beneath a moka pot to his left. Moments later he is pouring a flight of espresso. They greedily indulge. The trench coated man hobbles over to the counter and says with a froggy voice I'll take a cup. Joe's eyes narrow as he pours another. The man stumbles back to his seat, awkwardly plopping down into it. 

Hey, that piano, does it work? Asks Welvin

Of course. answers Joe.

Mind if I play it? 

Be my guest. 

Welvin, feeling energized by the coffee manages to scale to the wall with one hand. He begins to play his bardic melodies with the other. Over the next hour he continues to play like this, effortlessly clinging to the wall as the music pours from his soul. As the regulars come in for their orders they feel extra generous, tipping both the bard and the barista generous amounts. Welvin manages to fill a whole tankard with coin. 

Hey you ratcatchers aren't so bad. Joe looks around. Wanna buy some premium Elven Pipeweed? 

Actually ratcatchers is a pretty offensive term. Says Typo.

Yes. say Vlad and Welvin. They each buy an ounce of the halfling's grass. 

As all the pleasantries are being exchanged, the sound of hoofs and frantic bleating is heard by all. A fluffy white sheep with a scroll in its mouth barges into the cafe. It headbutts Welvin repeatedly. The scroll is sealed by wax bearing a symbol featuring a duck wearing a newsboy cap. Breaking the seal and opening the scroll, the spell sputters to life. The sheep's bleating ceases and turns to a wizardly accented common, with only a hint of bleat.

Black gods says the sheep. I thought I would never be able to escape.

You are a sheep. Responds Typo. Escape what? 

I am not a sheep! I am the great wizard Finethir Shinebright. Master of transmutation and council to...

What's in it for us? Prods Lester. 

I'm going to take a leak. Vlad says, awkwardly making eye contact with all before stepping past the sheep outside. 

Enough! They're probably already after me. Bleats Shinebright. In a fit of jealously, my apprentice Ahmed Noke stole my wand of true polymorph and turned me into this form. For the past two years he's kept me humiliated as his pet. 

That sucks. Says Lester, sipping on her espresso. 

I've collected a wealth of coin and magical artifacts in my day. I'm sure I can find some way to pay you. Assuming Ahmed hasn't squandered it yet. 

Good enough for me. She says definitively. 

They all leave the cafe. Outside there is a young man with blonde hair. He sports an orange jumpsuit. There's a crumpled poster in his hands. It has a dark image of a thief with their hood pulled over their head. It reads "Thief wanted for the murder of Guiseppi. 250GP reward."

Hey we're looking for that person too! Announces Vlad. Wanna team up? 

Sure. I'm Naruto. Says Naruto. 

Hi, I'm Veronica. I don't know that person on the wanted poster. Says Lester without a hint of anxiety. 

The idyllic setting is interrupted by a crowd of halflings shrieking in terror, heavy footsteps stampeding towards the party. A hulking green half orc clad in leather armor and wielding a great sword is flanked by two wolves with iron collars. Behind them is a brown mass draped in a cloak. 

Where's the sheep? Says Guz, the half-orc. 

Huh? say the party.

Just give me the sheep, I ain't playin! retorts the half-orc.

Woah just take it easy man. Pleads Typo.

Vlad continues to relieve himself in the bushes. 

Typo's weapons and armor meld into her skin as she falls to her hands, becoming a wolf. She accuses them of being republicans and then pounces. 

Lester makes quick stabs at Guz then disappears behind a collection of bushes at the center of the homestead. Welvin strums a chord that causes the iron collar of one of the wolves to glow white hot, burning him. Naruto activates his shadow clone jutsu, creating a copy of himself to flank the half-orc. Vlad finishes in the bushes and joins the battle. Shinebright starts eating from the same bushes. The cloaked behemoth decloaks itself to reveal that it is in fact, a brown bear. The bear vaults onto the roof of Soul Brew and charges towards the edge, looking down at Welvin. Guz makes a whirlwind strike towards Naruto and Typo. With a powerful slash to the jaw, Typo is knocked out of her wolf form. 

Welvin channels his magic again, causing the iron collar of the wolf to glow white hot and explode. He looks up at the bear and tries to cast hideous laughter- but a stoic bear is not deterred by the feeble words of a lowly bard. The bear crashes onto him from above and sinks his teeth into the bard's face. Lester emerges from the trees and uses her signature move, two daggers down the spine, on Guz. He's hurt bad, but still swinging. 

Typo goes inside Soul Brew to get away from the heat of the battle. Inside, she finds the trench coated man standing over the unconscious body of Joe, holding a bag of fresh roasted coffee.

Another win for the Spider Princess! You fools will never match the genius of our armies! Squeals the figure, before throwing off his coat to reveal that he is actually not a man at all. Rather, he is three bullywugs stacked on top of each other. 

Typo's face turns red as she falls to the ground flailing. 

I don't even want to be here! she cries. All I want to do is lead Hydren, I'm a lost princess BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE and I don't even know where you are and everyone is dying...

The sounds of Welvin's face being eaten can be heard outside. 

Ahhhh don't eat my face. Says Welvin.

The three bullywugs in a trench coat look down at the pathetic druid, reduced to a blubbering mess. 

Sheesh. Says the wug.

They place a small pile of the fresh coffee on her chest with a business card. 

You know, many join the cult because they don't have a sense of belonging. I myself suffered from social anxiety before finding my home with the Spider Princess. You should consider joining. Meet us at the Rose Petal in Vellintown. The bullywug says with soft eyes, before stepping out the back door.

Typo smirks. and that's how it is done. She says to no one in particular.

Outside, Welvin, Vlad, Typo, and Naruto finish up against Guz, the bear, and the last wolf. The wolf falls quickly to a quick thrust of the rapier by Welvin. Vlad charges at Guz, swiping at the orc's legs with his longsword. He collapses, vanquished by the paladin. The bear bears the barrage of blades by the party until it too succumbs to death. 

With the acidity of the bush leaves still on his tongue, Shinebright says "let's get moving then?"

Lester loots the half-orc, taking a small pouch of gold. 

*Editors note: it's around this point that the bard writing this contracted a serious case of Rockjoint of the hands. From this point on his recollection of the hero's deeds become much more generalized. *

Washinton the used forrest camel huffs carrying the weight of his party. He follows the Sheep back to his home. It's a three-platformed home formed from a living tree connected by twisted branches. The first platform is an alchemist's garden filled with rare flowers and plants. The second is a laboratory filled with instruments. The final is sealed off from view, and is raised 20ft higher than the others. There are a pack of apes throwing huge foam dice around. Welvin observes that they're playing liars dice. 

Lester eyes some bananas hanging from a tall tree and shoots them down. She then runs with the bag of holding to catch them, preventing them from exploding on the ground. 

Typo transforms into an ape to converse with the other... more apey apes. They explain that they were once wimps, but Ahmed turned them into big strong beasts. Now they just play games and eat bananas all day. 

Vlad goes to the bathroom again.

The party storms the laboratory where they see Ahmed Noke, Shinebright's apprentice. He demands they hand over the sheep or face death. He is nervous. They successfully convince him to calm down by promising to share some elven pipeweed with him. Lester's fast hands help here. He calms down, and explains that Shinebright was a phony. He lacked true power, yet took all the credit for his deeds. The true source of his power is a wand of true polymorph, which Ahmed Stole to turn the master wizard into a sheep. He also created the ape guards and the beasts that attacked the party at the homestead. The party pushes their luck, asking for the wand. Despite being calmed by the pipeweed, Ahmed realizes he's being deceived. He ordered his apes to attack. Vlad opens the door to the outhouse. A bear sits inside reading a newspaper. It roars at him, and Vlad shuts the door in his face. Welvin strums a chord producing the spell thunderwave, knocking back all three apes. Naruto activates his shadow clone jutsu to attack Ahmed. Vlad runs towards the battle. It takes him a long time. Lester stealthily does her thing. Ahmed plays his final card- running into his room he uses the wand of true polymorph on his bed, turning it into a dragon, a bed dragon. The apes recover. Standing up, they all beat down on Welvin, nearly killing him. The bed dragon breathes a splintery breath towards the party. Naruto and Typo damage the bed dragon significantly with their lightning jutsu and lightning spear, respectively. Lester is being stealthy. The apes and Ahmed are killed. 

On his way over the living wood bridge, Vlad hears the voice of his oathgiver. All life is valuable it says. Vlad knows what to do. STOP he announces, hasted by the master wizard's spell. He mounts the dragon, risking his life. He does the unthinkable. He goes to sleep on the bed dragon. Its instincts as a bed kick in and it relaxes, letting the paladin fall into a deep slumber as it ceases its attack. 

Shinebright thanks the party, and offers them his home as a reward for helping him out. He takes the wand of true polymorph and snaps it. He also gives the party a cell stone. As the sun begins to set, the bed dragon transforms once more. It whisks away the master wizard, Naruto grabs onto its tail. The trio fly away towards the open sky. 

Meanwhile...

He struggles against the ropes binding his arms to his torso. The mousefolk are small, but their crafts are quality. They park their sand sailor at an abandoned shack in the desert of Marcatus Island. 

This is the place. Grunts Hookbeard. 

They prod him with hand crossbows until he falls out the vessel into the sand. 

You will regret that one thinks Hookbeard as the four mice lift him up and into the shack. It's empty save for one bed, immaculate. They throw the pirate on the bed and untie his arms. Disarmed and without his skeletons he is still dangerous, so all keep a crossbow trained on him. 

Try anything funny and we'll feed you to Larry the Sea Monster. Squeaks one of the mice in his native tongue, Squeak Speak. 

You'll get your coin, then I'll be out of yer fur. Responds Hookbeard in their language. I admit you got one over on Old Hookbeard. Me hooks ain't as pointy as they used to be. 

The mouse spits a black glob. 

The pirate produces a purple crystal in his hands. He crushes it into a fine dust then draws a circle on the wall. The center of the circle fills void black, with an endless stream of stars twinkling before it. From the portal emerges a redheaded and freckled halfling. Skinny and wearing circular glasses, he wears a timeless yet unfashionable outfit. 

Um... Ah... You are late. Says the Halfling. Do you have the artifact? He sputters out, the portal still 

Apologies... As you can see I am pre-occupied with my friends here. You think Hookbeard is some kind of scalawag? Of course I have it. He spreads the portable hole on the ground beneath him. The mousefolk tense. He slowly lowers himself to retrieve the halberd. The weapon is made of pure silver. Its head, carved into the shape of a serpent features intricate circular runes written in the ancient Hydren language. They glow a soft blue. 

By the gods... Seabreaker! The museum thanks you immensely. Never before has such an artifact graced our...

Hookbeard leands forward. The payment first matey. He growls. The mousefolk's eyes narrow. 

Ah right. The museum coordinator stammers. From his pack he produces a cartoonishly sized pack of gold and puts it on the table. One of the mice walks over, still pointing his crossbow at Hookbeard. He bites a coin then winks at the others. 

All good? Says the halfling. 

Squeak. Says the mouse.

Hookbeard slides over seabreaker. 

The halfling's smile goes as wide as his face as he travels back through the portal. His feet making tippy taps as he poddles back through the portal. It sizzles behind him and the dust disintegrates, leaving behind the bare wall. 

Forgetting their captured pirate, the four mousefolk greedily lap up the coins throwing it on top of themselves and counting it out. 

Yer not gonna share any of the booty with me? Squeaks Hookbeard.

The mice all remember they have a prisoner. They snicker a high pitched laugh as they ready their crossbows. 

You know, I really thought we could be friends. Says the pirate.

The bed he sits on begins to split. In an instant, the wood snaps into an unnatural set of splintered teeth. The pillow forms into a long tongue. On either side, the frame forms serrated scales. A tail of blankets hangs limp behind the beast. The bed dragon awakens. Its mouth gapes open as it lets out a roar that blows the sides of the shack away, destroying the roof. The pieces of which are now falling on all. An elf wearing a robe of sheep's wool tumbles out from underneath. 

Black gods. Says Finethir Shinebright. What a day.

The mousefolk unload their crossbows at the dragon. The bolts are ineffective against its wooden scales. They shudder and turn away, trying to flee the destroyed cabin. The dragon pounces into the air, sucking in a ball of wind. From its mouth spawns a storm of splintered wood that eviscerate the mice. They all flop to the ground in unison. 

You son of a mind flayer. I can't believe you actually made it! Says the pirate.

A wizard is never late. Responds the wizard with a smirk.

The two clasp hands at the forearm and a shockwave expands out from their point of contact. They lock eyes, feeling a sense of wordless connection formed by years of campaigning together. 

They sit in the moment for a beat.

Time to get to work then. Says Hookbeard. From his boot he produces an amethyst dagger that shines pink.He plunges it into one of the deceased mousefolk. The body begins to writhe. It's joints snap as a churning sound can be heard. A wet skeleton emerges, clawing its way out of the fleshy prison. 

Mother always said I should study necromancy, but I never truly appreciated the appeal until I met you. Observes Shinebright as he pets the bed dragon, perching himself on its back. 

 Hookbeard cackles maniacly as he runs around the room creating more skeletons. 

The party wakes at Shinebright’s estate. Its dusk. Beneath the base nestled in the branches of trees are two ghouls and an ogre zombie munching on the corpses of the apes from yesterday’s battle.

The party decides to concoct a mixture of various liquids found around the laboratory. To then heat and dump on the undead. They can’t quite fill a cauldron all the way up so they supplement the liquid with liquids of their own.

They throw a rock to get the attention of the undead. Unfortunately, they hadn’t hidden before doing so- they are alerted and begin to charge. One of the ghouls goes up the bridge leading up to the laboratory. Vlad slashes the bridge beneath the ghouls feet, plummeting it to its death. The ghoul and ogre zombie scale the side of the laboratory to reach Welvin and Lester. The ogre throws Welvin off the side of the house, and the ghoul kicks the cauldron down on him. Despite his 1/16th tortle heritage, the bard is downed. 

Lester stealthily attacks the ogre while Vlad goes to save Welvin. The undead are killed, permanently.

Just as the party is licking their wounds, dawn breaks over the tree line. A barrage of trumpets sound as Brimsley, the royal tax collector arrives riding a mastiff. He claims that Shinebright owed 1000gp in taxes, and that whoever owns the deed to the estate must pay him within one week or be evicted. 

Lester abhors taxes. Only she is allowed to steal. So, she fires an arrow at the tax collector. Although weak, he is with four armed guards. He flees, promising to tell King Dragon of their transgression. The guards assume formation and begin firing their rifles at the party. 

The guards arent very stronga but their tactics are clever and the party is wounded from the previous battle. The party abandons the estate and runs to their carriage. They successfully run away, leaving the estate to be taken by the government.

Welvin naps in the carriage as Lester and Vlad drive to safety. They eventually reach a small stone building with a large tortoise out front. The tortoise claims speaks. He claims that he was once a man, but an evil man-hating Orc-witch transformed him into his present form. He tells the party the whereabouts of his cache of 100gp in exchange for the promise to slay the witch. The party agrees- taking 50gp up front.

They climb the nearby mountain to find the fortress if She-Lob the Man Slayer. Lester enters the fortress to try diplomacy while Vlad and Welvin ready their disguises. Lester nearly gets the orc to agree to help their cause- but lets it slip that she is traveling with men. She-Lob banishes the thief from her hideout despite the rogue's protests. Apparently the All-Mother disapproves of anything men.

She gets back to the others just as they are finishing their disguises. Lester adds some finishing touches and suddenly the paladin and bard are disguises as women. Just as they’re ready to leave- a ball shaped creature with many eye-stalks floats over to the party. It purrs gently. They're unable to figure out exactly what it is, but the party identifies it as a relative of a creature called a beholder. The creature accompanies them as the two disguised members of the party approach She-Lob. The bard informs her of Brimsley's transgressions against the party. As it would so happen, She-Lob and Brimsley are sworn enemies. Brimsley being an agent of the oppressive patriarchal Remesian Republic, and She-Lob a folk hero of the oppressed. She says that she's never been able to attack him directly- he's too protected inside the city walls. Vlad and Welvin inform her that he is currently running back to the city. They convince She-Lob to join them in a high-speed chase to intercept the tax collector before he returns to the safety of the city. (They also steal the rest of the gold from the tortoise). 

She-Lob mounts on the floating ball creature. She explains that it is a Spectator, and named Eyelene.

The party invades the Ranger Fortress. It's the lair of the adventuring guild "The Rangers." Upon reaching the top of a hill they spot the fortress on an opposite hilltop separated by a wooden bridge. Typo turns into squirrel and sneaks her way in. There she spots the tax collector consorting with a nun. The nun is none other than Sister Agnes, a worker at the orphanage that Vlad and Lester were raised in. She is a cleric and member of the rangers. She also spots a bard who turns out to be Chad Kroger, sworn rival of Welvin. The party attempts to sneak in wearing the disguises of some dispatched guards, managing to thin out the ranks of soldiers protecting the base while Typo distracts from within. They manage to get into the courtyard when Chad notices them. He recognizes Welvin and calls him a b**** again. Combat is initiated. Chad gets an early hit in by channeling a thunderwave through a kiss on the lips to Welvin, which damages him and sends him flying back. She-Lob, the brutal orc witch helps the party by decapitating Brimsley the tax collector. She tries to run away but Edge Deathblade emerges from the woods across the bridge, he slices her throat. Then he recites some homemade poetry at the party- but mostly Typo. Little Timmy is enraged at the party. He joined the rangers as a recruit. He claims vengeance. Lester and Typo kill Sister Agnes by plunging a rapier into her heart. At this, Chad calls on the rest of the soliders to fire. They turn Vlad into swiss cheese. In response, Vlad intimidates them into letting them leave. Chad casts rope trick to hide as the party waltzes out. On the way out they revive She-Lob, who claims she always knew Welvin and Vlad were men all along. They ride into the sunset towards their base- tax free. 

Agith the Winged Tiefling, Ednack the Lizard barbarian (Master of Hills) and an ettercap named Harold sit in Crazy Hassan’s used camel tent. He offers them a quest- to retrieve a magical berry from the woods. Harold rolls his pitch black eyes and says “another fetch quest? Yawn.” Instead, crazy Hassan asks them to kill a monstrosity at the top of a mountain nearby- in exchange he will give them a tiny magical camel statuette. When thrown at the ground it turns into a fully grown real camel for up to 8 hours. Speaking it’s command word returns it back to a statuette.

They accept and begin up the hill. Walking through a nice stone path with a cobble wall on the side they reach a hilltop. There’s a blind monk with a staff trying to prevent their advances. Ednack beats his club against his shield and trying to intimidate him into leaving. He fails. Agith shoots and arrow between his feet and shouts at him to leave while he lives. The monk cowers and runs away.

Halfway up the mountain the trio crosses a ravine by using Harold’s web-spit ability. Ednack jumps across with his strength and gets pulled up by Harold. Agith floats over. 

The trio continues up the mountain. They reach the top, above the tree line and full of barren rock. They spot the monstrosity- a three toothed tentacles being. The monk from earlier returns to aid his master, claiming he only pretended to be scared. The party disarms (literally) the beast. Harold uses his web to hold it down making for a quick beat down. Ednack smashes the monk nearly to death. Agith is nearly killed- but as an undying monk is able to hold on through her mortal wounds to fell the beast. The monk begs for forgiveness- Harold kicks him down the mountain. While tumbling down the monk swears he’ll enact his revenge. Somehow, Crazy Hassan appears at the top of the mountain to give the trio their reward- the used camel statuette of power. 

The party returns to their base- Shinebright's former estate that he left to them. With the tax collector dead, they get to work repairing it. Vlad chops down two trees to create lumber needed for repairs. He repairs the roofs of the second platform and creates a stable for their mounts. Welvin repairs the third roof using a cloth tarp found in the laboratory. Lester duplicates the locks on each of the doors to the home and creates a set of keys for each of the party members. She also goes hunting and brings back a pack of fat rabbits. All three find discarded potions in the laboratory. Lester becomes 100x more attractive for the evening, Vlad is turned into a mouse, and Welvin's skin turns to stone. As a mouse, Vlad controls Welvin ratatouille style- allowing him to chop down a tree in one swing. Vlad puts his goblin mirror next to the watering hole. Once all the repairs were done and dusted, the party names their new home "The Fortree." Vlad hangs up a wooden sign that reads the new name. 

After a week of enjoying their privacy, one morning the party is woken up by the sound of exotic music emanating from the woods.  A dozen tabaxi enter The Fortree. One of them, a tiger looking fellow in a fez leads the rest of them, loudly exclaiming that they have found their new home. The tabaxi set up tents and lay down rugs. Lester and Welvin threaten to kill them if they don't leave- but Vlad stays their hands. The tabaxi introduces himself as Shady Silk- a merchant. His whole family are merchants, and they were kicked out of their old home by a Hobgoblin and his pack of goblins. The rangers formerly protected them, but are no where to be found. Lester and Welvin are not swayed by the sob story and still try to kick him out. That is, until Joe from Hilltop farm shows up with two dozen halflings, all battered by war. He explains that his people too were attacked by the hobgoblin, and that Old Man Silas, the village elder was kidnapped. The final guest of the day is an imp who arrives in a puff of green smoke. It floats over to Vlad and drops an invitation in his hands. It's a message beckoning the party to the Old Vellintown Port to receive a new quest from a mysterious sender called The Shadow. The party decides to go eliminate the Hobgoblin, then go on to Old Vellintown. Before leaving, Vlad has one of his gemstones inspected by a child appraiser- and Welvin helps negotiate a set of plate armor for the paladin. Welvin buys a spellbook and a scroll for Jump. 

They arrive at The Mines of Demogorath. There's two plateaus separated by a wooden bridge. On the other plateau is about 10 goblins, 3 structures, and a cave entrance. Fifty feet below the bridge is a rushing river and another entrance to the cave. A goblin stands on the docks in front of the cave entrance on the river. Vlad and Welvin cause distractions while Lester dives into the water, using her water breathing necklace to enter the river and assassinate the goblin on the docks. A second goblin goes to investigate, Lester also murders that one- stealthily. Using his charisma and message, Welvin seduces the last goblin at the front, convincing it to meet Lester down at the docks. Unfortunately, Lester's last attack isn't so effective and misses the attack. Combat is initiated when the goblin, Stinktoe, calls out for help. The hobgoblin leader- and Ironshadow named Kolvarog the Mad reveals himself and beats up Lester a bit. The goblins are weak but plentiful. Combat generally goes in favor of the party until Kolvarog is killed by Welvin. The goblins are thrown into a frenzy, each trying to avenge their leader. Vlad and Welvin are peppered with arrows while Lester tries to pick them off. She's too slow. After restoring a downed Vlad, Welvin, himself his downed. The goblins repeatedly try to attack Welvin as he bleeds out, but their attacks mostly bounce off his turtle backpack. Vlad tries to throw a goblin off the side of the cliff, but the rage-fueled goblin manages to throw Vlad off! He saves- and manages to cling to the edge by plunging his longsword into the side of the rockface. Lester tries to call for Typo, but her call was unanswered. Barely hanging on and nearly dead- Vlad gets slashed in the face but manages to hang on and jump to the bridge. His new plate armor blocks two opportunity attacks as he runs over to the goblins attacking the dying Welvin. He slays them quickly and mercifully. The final two goblins beg for forgiveness and offer to help the party. Lester instructs them to go get a healing potion. One of the goblins retrieves a red potion from one of their tents. They give it to Welvin- who takes some damage from the poison he was given. Lester tortures the goblin, but Vlad mercy-kills it. They lead the final goblin to the storage tent to look for potions- when a mass of tentacles and teeth emerges from the rock. The goblin smirks as it gets ready to feed the adventurers to the Grick. Vlad picks up the goblin and imbues it with a thunderous smite. He critically throws it into the mouth of the beast- who explodes with a sonic boom sending rocky flesh everywhere. Old Man Silas is freed- and Welvin creates a tiny hut for the party to rest in. 

The party leaves the mines of Demogorath to head to Old Vellintown. Old Man Silas warns them of the evil that lurks ahead in the abandoned town. Along the road, the party's carriage is flagged down by a muscular Goliath dressed to the nines. He introduces himself as Brad Thundersword Mazetti and he's selling Precom. You read that right, Pre-Com- precombat potions designed to enhance battle prowess. Lester unsuccessfully tries to persuade him to sell one of his potions for half price. Welvin makes a more compelling argument- saying that they can product test and spread the word of his wares across the land. Brad sells them one "Muscle Milk" at cost, 20gp. He tells of other adventurers that came by earlier- also headed to Old Vellintown. Welvin gets a flashback across time and space- he foresees that they may encounter an Ettercap, a winged tiefling, and a lizard barbarian. He shudders at the thought. 

The trio continuous onto a muddy path and a decrepit farm. They spot a carriage with a deceased halfling and dwarf inside. Welvin goes to investigate. He discovers that the dwarf was killed by a skillfully placed arrow and the halfling was killed by nothing other than ettercap claws. He shudders again. His investigation also reveals that they are perched up on piles of gunpowder. Over the carriage he spots a tiefling, arrow at the ready hiding in a bush nearby. She stands up and fires an arrow in between Lester's feet to intimidate her. Agith, the winged tiefling announces that they have also been summoned by the Shadow. She says that if the party wishes to continue living they should abandon all of their gear and run the other way. Lester is angry at another tiefling coming off aggressively. Ednack, Master of Hills (and mud) trudges through the overgrown grass beating his chest and staring down the paladin, attempting to cause a distraction. He's pretty successful, as Harold emerges- surprising everyone. Harold takes a big chomp out of Lester and assassinates her. She dies. Combat starts and Mojave is on the defensive. 

Agith bombards Welvin with her flurry of blows while also firing arrows at Vlad (his worst nightmare). Ednack smashes Vlad with his stick. Welvin lets off a thunderwave that damages Agith and Ednack while Vlad goes to heal Lester. Agith uses her ki points to cast silence- forcing the bard to use his sword. Ednack keeps trying to bash Vlad- mostly unsuccessfully. Lester and Harold play hide and go seek for a while until eventually all of Mojave is downed and bleeding out. Vlad is the only one that remained. While the enemy party was damaged- they continued the assault. Lester narrowly cheats death as Harold misses her twice while she bleeds out. Ednack throws out his wonderous camel statuette, which chomps Vlad and nearly kills him. Vlad calls forth his spectral steed- Aaron the Camel. Aaron the camel acts independently as he walks over to Ednack and eats his head. Agith flies over and decapitates Aaron with her bladed nunchucks. Vlad cries out in anguish, then slides under he legs to heal Welvin. With the party reunited they manage to kill Agith and Harold. They have a quick coffee and crepe while we go over the short rest rules. 

The party arrives at the burnt down Old Vellintown. There's a wooden sign with the towns name up front, but it has the word "HELL" painted on in red. They cautiously walk in and are greeted by a skeleton shouting at them. Lester shouts back and the skeleton relents. He says his name is Mort and he stops people from entering- but he can't really stop them if they really want to. They chat for a bit and learn that he used to be a blacksmith. Welvin tells him of some fresh bodies that he could feast on - and offers to let him move in to the Fortree. Mort was pleased- and took them to his old forge. He reinforces Vlad's shield with his holy symbol, dips Welvin's rapier in gold, and silvers Lester's rapier. They bid adieu. Continuing on to the port they are greeted with a lighthouse- one of the only standing structures in the village. A shadow is cast over them as a young black dragon climbs to the top from behind. The same one that Guiseppi had ridden to battle. He introduces himself as The Shadow, and thanks the party for coming. The Shadow explains that his father, an ancient black dragon was killed by King Dragon's father 150 years ago. In three days, on King Dragon's birthday- he instructs the party to assassinate him as an act of revenge. In exchange he will give them his entire horde. Vlad tries to disagree until The Shadow says there is no room for negotiation or backing out. It's either kill King Dragon, or fight the Shadow. He relents. Lester is crowned leader of the expedition and she is given a powerful magic item to assist. The Time-Out Stick. When broken, it casts time stop on the user. He also gives Vlad the only invitation to the King's birthday celebration. The others will have to find their own way in. 

To close out, the party mounts the back of the Shadow and he flies them to the end of the sewers of Vellintown so that they may infiltrate. 

Typo was alone. Waking up in a forest- she sees her comrades riding on the back of a young black dragon. There are three paths before her- the road, a forest, and the mountains. She chooses the mountains. After climbing for hours she finds herself at the top of a peak overlooking a river of lava- another peak across the river joined by a razor wire zipline. On the other peak, blocking the path are three fire newts. Typo begins to climb across the wire but cuts her hand. She then tries to use her rope, but that gets torn apart. She tumbles 40ft down the black rocks to the bank of the lava river. The three fire newts go to investigate. That’s when Typo wild shapes into a fire newt herself. She speaks to them in their blasphemous tongue. Gluk bluk , buk buk, and cuk cuk introduce themselves. Apparently buk buk is reigning champion of arm wrestling in the Fire Newt village. He challenges Fire Newt Typo. Typo looses- but everyone is too distracted celebrating Buk Buk to notice her escaping.

Eventually, she meets up with the rest of the party just as they land at the entrance to the Vellintown sewers. They rest. As they’re about to enter the sewers they meet Tony the Kobold. After some bickering about Bandit Keith (who Lester killed) he agrees to help them. The party scales a 100ft sewer waterfall.

On the inside of the sewer they are attacked by a pack of Grimlocks. The Grimlocks jump in the sewer water to get at the party- Typo brandishes her Lightning Spear to shock them all, nearly killing them. At the same time- a Grick detaches itself from the wall and starts trying to tentacle Vlad and Welvin. Vlad throws it in the sewer water, trying to push it down the waterfall. Tony spots a pristine barrel on the other side of the sewer water- and tries to jump over the Grimlocks to reach it. He is nearly successful, but one of them manages to bat at the Kobold with his club- killing him instantly. Welvin, drunk (or hungover?) grabs a pipe and offers it to the struggling Grick in an act of mercy- cooing it. The Grick purrs. It then starts to speak common and introduces himself as Salvador.

They continue on and reach a heavy iron gate. Lester drinks her PreCom- making her strength quadruple. She starts breaking through the gate with her bare hands when a group of five Mousefolk arrive on the other side. They're clad in red and golden uniforms with armor and wielding crossbows. The party tries to communicate in Common but the mice appear to only speak Squeak Speak. Lester tries to throw the gate on them. Combat is initiated. The Mice go first and manage to fill Lester with enough arrows to finish her off in a single volley. Salvador has no mercy. He strangles one with one tentacle and slashes another. Welvin heals Lester. Vlad starts speaking Spanish and it turns out that the Mice speak a bastardized version of the language. Everyone apologizes for the misunderstanding. Lester is healed- the mice are healed. Everyone is happy cozy. 

The Mousefolk lead the party into their village in the sewer. It's a village made of barrels called Barrel Village. The party goes into a shop and are greeted by the only common-speaking mouse in the village, Omer. Typo buys a tuxedo for Salvador. Omer's son, Arthur- a mousefolk, is given a gun and told to help the party escape. He joins the party temporarily. Unfortunately Omer only stocks fine clothing sized for Mousefolk and Tentacle Monsters so they continue on to the final room in the sewers. It's two platforms separated by a 50ft wall- a levy. Not trusting the obvious trap- the party climbs up the wall and reaches the top platform. There is a lever there right before the exit. Salvador pulls it. The platforms are equalized, spreading water amongst them both and revealing the Otyugh that was lurking beneath. Typo successfully persuades the creature to let her and Lester escape, taking the others as its meal. They squeeze through the exit. Salvador nobly sacrifices himself, holding down the Otyugh while the others make their way out. 

The party sets their eyes upon the city of Vellintown. Stepping foot into its cobble lined streets they find themselves in a large city with streetcars, self-lighting lamps, stone homes, and merchants. They find their way to an alleyway and shut their eyes for the night, as the twelve bongs of the central clocktower announces that it is now midnight. 

There's a flash of light as the world comes spinning around Vlad and Lester, distorting in all directions as they are violently pulled through the magical weave. Their skin sizzles and your eyes adjust to a new surrounding. They're standing in a circular room on a stone platform surrounded by arcane drawings on the ground. There's a grotesque statue across then, and lots of lights that flash and zap. A spiral staircase runs along the perimeter of the room. What's more, the back of their heads itch as a silver cord dangles from it. There's a yellow-skinned humanoid, equally bewildered, between them. Blark, the space pirate introduces himself. 

A mousefolk appears at the stairs and walks down. He is Benito Mousealini, wizard of the Astral Sea. Hookbeard recommended Vlad and Lester as potential candidates to help him bring order to the island of Marcatus. He summoned them to help him out, and Blark somehow came too. Magic is unexplainable he explains. Mousealini points them towards his job board- of which there are two currently available. They are:

a. Transcribe a lost spell from the SagShall Taverns

b. Obtain the treasure of The Spicy Salmon

They choose to obtain the treasure. They step outside and see the island of Marcatus. It's a giant lily pad filled with sand and an eternal sunset overhead. First, they make a pit stop at Lilytown- the village at the center of the island. They're denied entry by a group of bandit-y mousefolk called the ratpack, led by one "Sinatra." Despite conversational failings of Blark and overt threats by Lester Vlad manages to flirt his way in- agreeing to give up his armor. Once inside the town, Vlad and Lester fake an argument to draw their attention while Blark goes to steal their items back. The ratpack is alerted, and they initiate combat. Combat starts off with Mojave being littered with cactus crossbow bolts. Lester nearly dies. However, the tide is quickly turned and Vlad demands surrender. The two remaining mousefolk agree in exchange for him reviving Sintra. Despite Lester's complaints towards this act of mercy, Vlad does so. The Rat Pack tells them to get whatever they need and leave as soon as possible. 

Blark pays for the trio's stay at a tavernless inn for a quick nap. Vlad goes to the tavern across the road with Sinatra. They're served by an elder mousefolk as a Githzerai stares them down. Blark and Lester eventually wake up and join the paladin in the tavern. Blark can't let his anger to the Githzerai go unknown- the Githzerai, Ozzie, makes a snooty remark in his college-educated accent. Combat is initiated. Ozzie uses his anime powers to make Lester think everything in the world is made of cotton candy, her biggest fear. She suffers immense psychological damage. Blark and Vlad bombard him with bolts and javelines as he scurries up a building. One lucky shot makes the Githzerai die. 

The Mousefolk Villagers collect his corpse, dressing their younglings in snake costumes. Sinatra explains that they will offer the body to Kevin, the Snake God. The village elder, Mama Margaret arrives and gives the party a foldable boat and a sword made of swiss cheese, The Holey Avenger. She points them in the direction of the sea wreck that they originally came out to see. The party heads that direction.

After determining the half-submerged  ship is stable enough to walk on, Blark steps aboard and starts throwing cargo off to stabilize it. He grabs the treasure perched atop the sinking wheel. As soon as he steps off, a ghostly tentacled figure, Jones, appears. He says that unless a treasure of equal value is given to his sinking ship, he will take Blark and the others down to the bottom of the sea. They hand over The Holey Avenger and bid adieu. 

Ashore with the treasure, Lester and Vlad open the chest. Inside is a humid self-contained ecosystem with a single orange with little baby legs and a face. It looks up at its parents and goes baaaaaaa. Mousalini's magic begins to weaken as Lester and Vlad's silver cords yank them back to the material plane. Blark is left confused, stranded on an island in the middle of the Astral Sea alone. 

The party Mojave, now inside the walled city of Vellintown wakes in an alleyway. Across them is a blinged-out wizard and a wood elf monk bickering. The Wizard is Voogoo, the muscle for a local brothel- the Rose Petal. The Monk is Aylar, angry at the wizard for attacking him. They obviously make fast friends with Mojave, who wakes and greets them. A silhouetted figure stands at the edge of the alley with a dog. It's Smilin' Jones. Through his gold teeth he claims that he protected the party last night while they slept, and couldn't they offer just a measly 10 gold pieces for his trouble? His dog is starving after all. Lester's stabbing hand starts getting itchy. Vlad is sweating. Welvin is welvining. Typo is thinking about turning into a dog to talk to the other dog. Voogoo casts suggestion on him, commanding him to show him and his new friends a tour of the city. His demeanor instantly turns genuine as he calls of the rest of his gang. A surly band of hairy men clamber out of the boarded up windows and doors in the alley, grunting as they let their weapons clang on the ground and moaning at the missed opportunity. 

Smilin' Jones gives the party the local's guide to Vellintown's Lower Ward. The tour leads the party towards the Bazaar, which contains the following stores:

Blacksmith/Armorer

Fletcher

Leatherworker

Temple/Faith Supplies

General Store

Wetzels Pretzels

Adventuring Supplies

Jewewler/Stonecutter

Textiles

Potion Shop

Magic Supplies

Welvin checks out the stonecutter, where he barters a precious gemstone in exchange for a brand new totally-not-a-backpack shell. It's made of a purple stone that glistens in sunlight. 

After that, the party makes their way over to the textiles store. Most purchase formalware without too much fuss. Lester looks through the entire catalogue before settling on an outfit. Typo works sewing underwear for a few hours instead of paying. During those hours, Welvin, Vlad, Aylar, and Voogoo all smoke some Elvin Pipeweed and make their way over to Wetzels Pretzels, where Paul Rudd is working. Very stoned, they all order an obscene amount of pretzels. Both in the traditional style as well as in miniature bite form. When Lester later joins, Paul does them a solid by giving her half cinnamon sugar and half regular (which is against policy.) Somehow, a commotion is started amongst the party and the textile worker. Two guards, Nobby and Carrot arrive to break it up. They're already upset that they're on patrol duty in the lower ward on the day before the King's birthday and now they have to deal with some stoners and pretzels? Everyone calms down and they're about to leave when Voogoo presses them about the party. The party discovers that there will be counter-assassins at the party, and that the king will be personally protected by a halfling adventuring party known as the Shortswords. 

Deciding it's now time to discuss the plan, the party heads over to the Gobble-inn. They must prove that they are tough enough to enter. Vlad knocks out (or kills, it's not entirely clear) a random passerby. Aylar claims he ate a bowl of nails. They just let Lester inside because she is literally a wanted criminal. The others make it inside somehow. 

Inside is illuminated by candlelight and the light from a stained glass window featuring a goblin choking a snake. Most of the furniture inside is broken. A crowd of hulking men surrounds a table. They're shouting and throwing coins at the center. An Orc Woman smashes a goliath into the table, breaking it. She is showered with coins.

They find a table and discuss the plan after getting some bottom-of-the-barrel ale. There is much debate and much back and forth. She-lob eventually comes over to say that she'll be at the party too. Before anyone can poke holes in her plan she leaves. More ale. More debating. At exactly three bong, the party decides on the following: 

The night before the party: Lester dimension doors inside holding bag of holding with Aylar inside. They find barrels to hide in until the next day. They will emerge once the party has started and regroup with the rest of them. 

The day of the party:

Voogoo impersonates Wizard or guest.

Typo becomes a Pet tiger or Parrot (TBD) to be given as gift with a bow on her neck.

Vlad and Welvin walk in as normal guests.

There is a red sunset that night, and King Dragon sleeps a dreamless night as he clutches Godkiller.

Meanwhile.....

Atop a balcony overlooking the mountains surrounding Vellintown, Hookbeard takes a sharp breath in through the nostrils. The sunset makes his golden ascot sparkle. The airship floating before him lets down a metal walkway. At the top there is a slender silhouette holding her hand out. The pirate's tailcoats billow in the wind as he ascends.